Jude 2

#1 Lord, givest thou me bologna!

#2 He moved gingerly.

#3 If God send you out to get Moby Dick in a row boat, take your tartar sauce with you!

Mine was, "People who are irregular tend to be grumpy."

MrDanger wrote:Mine was, "People who are irregular tend to be grumpy."

wow, that cracked me up tremendously!

wendy k

ok, on first sunday, the kids sing at the beginning of service and one kid brings an object and my pastor does an object lesson.

anyway, on this particular sunday, a kid brought his nintendo ds and my pastor couldn't really think of anything to talk about, so he started talking about his son michael who got a wii for his 25th birthday. So, he said and I quote " And Michael plays with his wii all the time!"

After that, my pastor's face got really red cuz he realized what he had said and the whole congregation laughed for about 5 minutes, so my pastor just ended up saying "Let's just pray"

It was hilarious!!

wendy k

1. If you want to have a great revival invite a homosexual to come.

2, If you want to grow grass you plant a certain kind of seed.

"Merry Stinkin' Christmas!" ~Ron Hamm

"I love Jreamy Ciff Peanut Butter." ~Ron Hamm

(regarding the way he was taught on backsliding and condemnation)
"I snuck and went to see Elvis Presley in Jail House Rock. I had to start all over again. It made me so mad I wanted to cuss." ~Ron Hamm
(from the congregation)
"Then you had to start all over again, again." ~Mary Hamm

teach wrote: And Michael plays with his wii all the time!"

That's the best one I've heard in a looong time.

Man , I got to be really careful from now on...I am being watched very carefully..."and the good that I would do"....oh well when you have members like mine.....lol

Dr. Ron wrote:Man , I got to be really careful from now on...I am being watched very carefully..."and the good that I would do"....oh well when you have members like mine.....lol

It got a roar of laughter from the crowd. I am just glad we can laugh and have fun while we are learning. It makes a world of difference having a pastor that knows your church history.

I wont share the juicy stuff you say about jude2 during the messages.


I'm kidding ya'll!

teach wrote:ok, on first sunday, the kids sing at the beginning of service and one kid brings an object and my pastor does an object lesson.

anyway, on this particular sunday, a kid brought his nintendo ds and my pastor couldn't really think of anything to talk about, so he started talking about his son michael who got a wii for his 25th birthday. So, he said and I quote " And Michael plays with his wii all the time!"

After that, my pastor's face got really red cuz he realized what he had said and the whole congregation laughed for about 5 minutes, so my pastor just ended up saying "Let's just pray"

It was hilarious!!

wendy k

I just about died on that one. Isn't Bro. Stone your Pastor? He seem's so proper...I bet he was embarrassed! That is too funny.

PastorDaniel wrote:

teach wrote:ok, on first sunday, the kids sing at the beginning of service and one kid brings an object and my pastor does an object lesson.

anyway, on this particular sunday, a kid brought his nintendo ds and my pastor couldn't really think of anything to talk about, so he started talking about his son michael who got a wii for his 25th birthday. So, he said and I quote " And Michael plays with his wii all the time!"

After that, my pastor's face got really red cuz he realized what he had said and the whole congregation laughed for about 5 minutes, so my pastor just ended up saying "Let's just pray"

It was hilarious!!

wendy k

I just about died on that one. Isn't Bro. Stone your Pastor? He seem's so proper...I bet he was embarrassed! That is too funny.

yes, he was massively embarrased and he will kill me if he ever finds out I posted that on here!!

wendy k

Our Pastor has been telling us to buy The Bible on CD and play it in our houses all day and especially at night so that the Word will sink into our minds and hearts.

This week a lady stood up and said that she bought The Bible on Cd and it came "with a script".....A fellow who couldn't keep quiet (this time it was not me) said "wouldn't that just be The Bible" and the place broke up!


On a serious note we were being taught about praying in the Spirit and I heard the words " The Spirit prays the answer and not just the situation".

Think about that!! Powerful!

My favorite quote: "Amen...."

just kidding..

DeWayneTN wrote:My favorite quote: "Amen...."

just kidding..

Mine is similar to yours Dewayne:

"And, in conclusion..."

I have heard a couple people say from the pulpit that Jesus raised his friend "Lazareth" from the dead. Does that make Jesus, Jesus of Nazarus?