Jude 2

so, I am at a somewhat vulnerable stage in life at the moment that I hope doesn't last long, but nonetheless, I am in it.

I don't want to date anyone right now because I just was some space and distance from guys.

yesterday, my ex-boyfriend called to say hi.

Then, a guy that I went out with back in January called and has been calling for the last few days.

Then, my ex-boyfriend from college called to chat (he's married, so I know he's not after me or anything, we just haven't talked in awhile, so he was calling to catch up.)

And this guy I met back in december who I already turned down once kinda asked me out again in a myspace message!!!

A teacher friend of mine has a guy she wants me to go out with

And another teacher friend of mine has a guy she wants me to go out with

And my best friend has a guy she wants me to go out with

And, one of the basketball coaches wants to go out with me...

Why, when I don't want to go out with anyone would all of this come up?

I know that I am doing the right thing by not dating, but man, when there are this many people knocking at my door it really is hard to say no to all of them when I am in a vulnerable state!!!

Any advice or comments?

Wendy k

If you are vulnerable, then definately keep your space.

Speaking from a guy's perspective, there are truly not many guys (especially ex's) who call just to shoot the breeze without some other motive.

Motels have 'No Vacancy' signs that they hang out, but I hear they keep a little space available just is case someone important comes along.

______________________

your response:
Get thee behind me satan!

hehehehehee

Maybe there is a reason for so many to be calling at this time...If you aren't ready, express that to each one as gracefully as you can...Or make sure you tell them it would have to be a casual friendship, because you aren't ready for anything else at this time and see what develops...I believe in just being honest and up front at all times...That isn't always easy, but it helps so much in the long haul...Someone might not be interested at all under those terms and that would mean less offers to even think about...

Good luck, it's a jungle out there...

scooter wrote:Or you might want to check the signals you're sending out.

Scoot you beat me to it.

scooter wrote:Or you might want to check the signals you're sending out.

You are wrong about that. I have been careful NOT to send the wrong signals and I have informed these people that I am not interested in dating right now.

wendy k

teach wrote:

scooter wrote:Or you might want to check the signals you're sending out.

You are wrong about that. I have been careful NOT to send the wrong signals and I have informed these people that I am not interested in dating right now.

wendy k

Response: Me wrong, you have got to be kidding!

I was speaking more of a way of life than anything you say.

Conduct is the loudest tongue.

I'm not saying it is needfully a bad thing.

Some peoples personalities are inviting in there very essence.

If you have a bubbly, outgoing, hey yall watch this way about you some things come naturally.

Too many to chose from is not a problem for most people. Just say no.

You are an outgoing, friendly, sweet person, that's going to draw men.

Plus while you don't want to date right now, that's often when the right person comes along, you're not trying so hard and things happen naturally. Unfortunately it can also draw men who aren't looking for a commitment too.

if you're not interested just take all the attention as flattery and say no, you may make some good friends, you may even run into one that changes your mind, but don't worry too much about it, and if friends are pushing you too much (you mentioned 3-4 trying to set you up) then just tell them to back off.

Why of COURSE tons of guys would show up, right when you decide to just focus on your relationship with God!

Personally, I decided to not date at ALL when I was young(er). I wanted to focus on my relationship with God and trust Him to bring me the right guy. Now, I had friendships, and there were guys that I thought had the potential of maybe being more, but there was always something that changed my mind and we never went beyond friends.

When I met my now husband, we had a LOT in common but neither of us was looking for a relationship. In fact he had just gotten out of a bad relationship and was burnt out. We became good friends, and we spent a lot of time arguing doctrine. Ha ha! At one point, I told my mom, I can't see myself with Brad, he's like a brother, and you don't marry your brother! Eww! But then things changed and it was definitely a God thing. Brad was my first boyfriend and now we've been married for almost 5 years and two kiddos.


So, I say all this to say, don't be discouraged. Keep sticking to your guns, shower all of your pent-up affection on your Heavenly Bridegroom, and if He should bring a guy around that will encourage you in that endeavor and be a spiritual strength to you, well be thankful for that and, who knows? I heard a saying that goes, "A woman's heart should be so lost in God that a guy has to seek Him to find it!"

Praying for ya, teach!

~Rachel

scooter wrote:

teach wrote:

scooter wrote:Or you might want to check the signals you're sending out.

You are wrong about that. I have been careful NOT to send the wrong signals and I have informed these people that I am not interested in dating right now.

wendy k

Response: Me wrong, you have got to be kidding!

I was speaking more of a way of life than anything you say.

Conduct is the loudest tongue.

I'm not saying it is needfully a bad thing.

Some peoples personalities are inviting in there very essence.

If you have a bubbly, outgoing, hey yall watch this way about you some things come naturally.

Too many to chose from is not a problem for most people. Just say no.

well, I am not going to just try to change my personality...

i have been saying no. I guess I am just going to have to stop being nice about it and simply ask them not to call me so much.

The ones that my friends want to hook me up with are not a problem because they are just waiting for me to give them the word and I don't have contact with those people. it's the ones who are calling me and messaging me on myspace that I have a problem with. And, I don't mind someone calling me every now and then if they want to be my friend, but this whole everyday thing is just to much.

Besides, I am pretty sure that one guy is just being my friend because he figures we'll go out when I am ready, and I don't like that. It's like he only wants to be my friend so that we can go out later.

wendy k

teach wrote:
well, I am not going to just try to change my personality...

i have been saying no. I guess I am just going to have to stop being nice about it and simply ask them not to call me so much.

Sometimes it takes one putting their foot down.

Granted I have never been a man that the ladies flock to, but I have had my fair share of instances where I had to firmly yet with kindness relay to members of the opposite sex that I was off the auction block.

A2JGirl wrote:Why of COURSE tons of guys would show up, right when you decide to just focus on your relationship with God!

That's what I was thinking too. Maybe this is a test to see if you are serious when you say you don't want to date??

A2JGirl wrote:So, I say all this to say, don't be discouraged. Keep sticking to your guns, shower all of your pent-up affection on your Heavenly Bridegroom, and if He should bring a guy around that will encourage you in that endeavor and be a spiritual strength to you, well be thankful for that and, who knows? I heard a saying that goes, "A woman's heart should be so lost in God that a guy has to seek Him to find it!"

Very good advice. I especially like the quote I bolded. I'm gonna have to remember that!!!

EagerBeaver wrote:

teach wrote:
well, I am not going to just try to change my personality...

i have been saying no. I guess I am just going to have to stop being nice about it and simply ask them not to call me so much.

Sometimes it takes one putting their foot down.

Granted I have never been a man that the ladies flock to, but I have had my fair share of instances where I had to firmly yet with kindness relay to members of the opposite sex that I was off the auction block.

I think that is what it is going to boil down to. I just hate being mean to people, but I guess that is the only way that these guys will get the message...

wendy k