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Messes in Messages

Posted: July 26th, 2008, 9:04 am
by panhandler
The talk about IYC brought back to my mind a hilarious message mistake. We were in the mountains of Colorado during IYC one year when one of my favorite preachers ever, Adrian Varlack, began to preach on "The Most Important Thing".

He began by holding up his left hand showing all 5 fingers and said something like "There are 5 important things in a Christians life. Number 1 is..." and folded down his pinky finger. "Number two is..." and folded down his thumb. "Number 3..." and folded down his ring finger. If you don't see where this is headed try it on your hand.

Those of us on the stage (Galen and Peggy Bell, Greg Stevens, etc.) began to pray he would change it around but noooooo. Next came the index finger and of course "The Most Important Thing" had him walking around preaching with all that was in him while shooting the bird to all in attendance. We were laughing so hard on the stage that we couldn't pay attention.


All right, fess up and tell us your's.

Posted: July 26th, 2008, 10:37 am
by MrDanger
A certain former General Overseer was preaching about Brittany Spears at IYC (not his first time mentioning her in a sermon) and said, "You know who I'm talking about" while making hand motions in front of himself implying large breasts. The whole group was laughing hysterically. He kept asking what we were laughing about.

Later in the sermon, he was trying to say what direction we should be going, but instead kept substituting the word erection. Finally, one of the state overseers in attendance that was sitting near me looked over and said, "I can't wait till I get that age and can say anything during a sermon." :lol:

Posted: July 27th, 2008, 4:38 am
by panhandler
MrDanger wrote:A certain former General Overseer was preaching about Brittany Spears at IYC (not his first time mentioning her in a sermon) and said, "You know who I'm talking about" while making hand motions in front of himself implying large breasts. The whole group was laughing hysterically. He kept asking what we were laughing about.

Later in the sermon, he was trying to say what direction we should be going, but instead kept substituting the word erection. Finally, one of the state overseers in attendance that was sitting near me looked over and said, "I can't wait till I get that age and can say anything during a sermon." :lol:
Was that this year? WOW!!!

Posted: July 27th, 2008, 2:33 pm
by MrDanger
Nope. Not this year. Randy didn't preach, he just visited.

Posted: July 27th, 2008, 2:47 pm
by panhandler
MrDanger wrote:Nope. Not this year. Randy didn't preach, he just visited.
Oh,

Your post said FORMER GO. I thought you were talking about Bro Fisher.

Posted: July 28th, 2008, 4:37 am
by free
I'll never forget the assembly when Brother Fisher was talking about young people and getting them into the church...He said something like, "Let them come to church and bang in the sanctuary...Bang in the fellowshiphall...Bang in the gym...." Obviously he was not aware of the defination of "banging" by the current generation...It was so funny but at the same time I felt bad for him.

Posted: July 28th, 2008, 4:44 am
by PastorDaniel
I preached a message years ago and was using the story of Noah and the Ark.....only problem is.....I kept saying "Moses and the Ark" :shock: :lol:

Or so my wife says.... :lol: :lol: I didn't even catch that I was doing it. :lol:

Posted: July 28th, 2008, 7:08 am
by soulsearcher
TWO STORIES AS TOLD TO ME BY THE INFAMOUS MYRTLE (OF MYRTLE AND THE MONOTONES), A.K.A. PEGGY BURTON-BELL

A. B. Woodruff, pastor of Larkwood, Kentucky COGOP for literally decades was notorious for his pulpit antics and mis-quotes, especially his having the congregation repeat things three times.

A new woman pastor by the last name of "Boobie" moved into the district and was in attendance at a district meeting at his church. Bro. A. B. got up and said, "We welcome Sister Boobs to our district."

His wife, who always sat up close and often corrected him with hand motions and mouthing of words, was on the front row waving her hands back and forth, mouthing, "No. No. It's 'Boobie.' 'Boobie.'"

Brother A. B. then said, "I'm sorry. It's Sister Boobie. Let's all say Boobie three times," at which point the entire congregation chanted, "Boobie. Boobie. Boobie."

Another time, while preaching a sermon on the importance of remembering the goodness of God and his faithfulness, he stated, "Sadly, many people these days forget God." To emphasize that point he said, "Well, let's all say 'forget God' three times." The congregation shouted, "Forget God! Forget God! Forget God!"

:lol: :lol: Mike, you shouldn't have started this. I could tell a hundred stories on my own family! :lol: :lol:

Posted: July 28th, 2008, 7:23 am
by panhandler
soulsearcher wrote:TWO STORIES AS TOLD TO ME BY THE INFAMOUS MYRTLE (OF MYRTLE AND THE MONOTONES), A.K.A. PEGGY BURTON-BELL

A. B. Woodruff, pastor of Larkwood, Kentucky COGOP for literally decades was notorious for his pulpit antics and mis-quotes, especially his having the congregation repeat things three times.

A new woman pastor by the last name of "Boobie" moved into the district and was in attendance at a district meeting at his church. Bro. A. B. got up and said, "We welcome Sister Boobs to our district."

His wife, who always sat up close and often corrected him with hand motions and mouthing of words, was on the front row waving her hands back and forth, mouthing, "No. No. It's 'Boobie.' 'Boobie.'"

Brother A. B. then said, "I'm sorry. It's Sister Boobie. Let's all say Boobie three times," at which point the entire congregation chanted, "Boobie. Boobie. Boobie."

Another time, while preaching a sermon on the importance of remembering the goodness of God and his faithfulness, he stated, "Sadly, many people these days forget God." To emphasize that point he said, "Well, let's all say 'forget God' three times." The congregation shouted, "Forget God! Forget God! Forget God!"

:lol: :lol: Mike, you shouldn't have started this. I could tell a hundred stories on my own family! :lol: :lol:
I know at least one of them!!!

Posted: July 28th, 2008, 7:32 am
by free
This is an oldie but a goody:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eb8TIP2rM20