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How to write good

Posted: January 14th, 2010, 11:40 am
by macgulley
I found these helpful writing hints and had to share them with you. I think it's been around a while but maybe it will brighten your day.

How to write good.

1. Avoid Alliteration. Always.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat.)
4. Employ the vernacular.
5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
7. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
8. Contractions aren’t necessary.
9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
10. One should never generalize.
11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
12. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
13. Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
14. Be more or less specific.
15. Understatement is always best.
16. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
17. One word sentences? Eliminate.
18. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
19. The passive voice is to be avoided.
20. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
21. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
22. Who needs rhetorical questions?

Shouldn't that say...

Posted: January 14th, 2010, 11:43 am
by Pastor Gary
How to writer gooder?

Re: Shouldn't that say...

Posted: January 14th, 2010, 11:56 am
by macgulley
Pastor Gary wrote:How to writer gooder?


I wouldn't know 'cause I'm like Brer Fox in Uncle Remus, "I kin read readin', but I can't read writin'." :wink:

Posted: January 14th, 2010, 1:37 pm
by Russell Roberts
Thanks for the tips Macgulley.

Posted: January 15th, 2010, 11:41 am
by Shellie
LOL....I was reaching for my red pen on the write "good" until I read a little further. Awesome, I will use this!

Posted: January 15th, 2010, 12:07 pm
by Russell Roberts
I wants to write gooder butt my parnets di'dn't teached me how two write gooder.

Posted: January 15th, 2010, 12:07 pm
by macgulley
Shellie wrote:LOL....I was reaching for my red pen on the write "good" until I read a little further. Awesome, I will use this!


You would need several red pens for that one! :lol:

Posted: January 16th, 2010, 4:44 am
by Mole_J
This reminded me of a parody of Timbaland's "The Way I Are":

Bad Grammar by James @ War Ft. Hotforword & Sheena Melwani.

James @ War's other parodies are pretty funny also, you can see them on Youtube.