I need to hear from you women!

[Tracy]

It would probably be wise to stop facebooking altogether.

Stop facebooking altogether?!!!! Tracy do you have SWINE FLU!!!! LOL

Only you know, Brian, the deepest motives and intentions of your heart. I don't, your wife doesn't, and no on this board does. Only you know if there is any slightly inappropriate excitment or deep seated 'flirtatious' stirrings in your heart as you interact with other women on fb and portals like it.

If there are, then your wisest move would be to remove yourself from the opportunity for temptation. That would mean eliminating fb.

If there aren't, then I suppose no action is needed.

You may laugh my advice off and make fun, but you know what I say is true, whether it concerns you or me or anyone else who is flirting with danger in the way I have explained above.

It's your choice, because only you know your heart. Search it well.

In Christ,
Tracy

[Pastor Bill]

Brian,

Sounds like you are your wife are digging in and talking about this and all the issues that are or could be involved. That's all I've been saying, and I hope I haven't come across as accusing her of jealousy or anything, I think I've been taken that way, but it was NOT what was meant.

could there be some jealousy there, possibly, and as you said, in the past there has been cause for it, that's something for the two of you to always keep open communication about and work hard to make that never an issue, and it sounds like that's what's happening, God can take this situation and grow the two of you even closer due to it.

[Dr. Ron]

Boy, I am glad that is cleared up...

Just a few comments from marriage counseling 101...

1. The only cause of divorce is selfishnes....on the part of one or both spouses.

2. When we marry, we give up our "rights" to our companion. We surrender ourselves to them to care for them and work toward their happiness....in all areas. Not to enslave ourselves, but rather to free ourselves. Many of you have stated positions that give glaring descriptions of how your relationships are. Many of you need some counseling... .

3. I did not tell Brian his 'faux pax" was acceptable, but rather was interested in why this issue became and "issue". The fact that his wife has total access to his computer with the pass words, tells me he is serious about his relationship with his wife.

4. It is not a sin for a man to feel and "ego boost" when complimented.

5. It is certainly important for the dating process to continue after marriage.....I have done this for 44 years. We are taking dance lessons now to have some more date options....and we are going on a cruise.
I will dance with her on this boat!!!!

6. Our relationships change with time. Marriage has a very definite pattern. Romance (strong, positive feelings, total acceptance of each other. Reality (when the "glow" subsides, enabling each to see the mate's faults. the become critical and begin to see weaknesses. Resignation and Reconstruction ( Weaknesses and prolbems surface until they raise a dividing barrier. Feelings of coolness harden into resentment causing the partners to give up which, in effect, causes them to establish separate lives. At this point one of two things will happen: (1) the will resign themselves to the fact the marriage is over and divorce;or (2) they will begin reconstruction.

7. I applaud Shellie for having the "spiritual discernment" to help her huband. All women should pray for that. While it does not always work,sadly, it is certainly a worthy goal to strive for.

8. Trust is the key in marriage. Without that...nothing else works.

Love you all.....RR I am sorry I thought you were someone else.....

[RaceRunner]

RR I am sorry I thought you were someone else.....

Ha! That's okay.
I've been RaceRunner since the original Cogop forum, through that-other-forum-that-shall-remain-nameless until now.

2. When we marry, we give up our "rights" to our companion. We surrender ourselves to them to care for them and work toward their happiness....in all areas. Not to enslave ourselves, but rather to free ourselves. Many of you have stated positions that give glaring descriptions of how your relationships are. Many of you need some counseling... .

Hey, YOU are the one who said, "I RESERVE the right to express my feelings about beauty." (which is what started this whole mess of trouble in the first place. Hence, the wife reserved her right to express how uncomfortable it made her. (must be in marriage 201)

Oh well, the happy couple are in sync again and it didn't cost them $120 an hour did it? They got all this psychobabble for FREE! Ain't Jude2 grand!

[Brian]

It would probably be wise to stop facebooking altogether.

Stop facebooking altogether?!!!! Tracy do you have SWINE FLU!!!! LOL

Only you know, Brian, the deepest motives and intentions of your heart. I don't, your wife doesn't, and no on this board does. Only you know if there is any slightly inappropriate excitment or deep seated 'flirtatious' stirrings in your heart as you interact with other women on fb and portals like it.

If there are, then your wisest move would be to remove yourself from the opportunity for temptation. That would mean eliminating fb.

If there aren't, then I suppose no action is needed.

You may laugh my advice off and make fun, but you know what I say is true, whether it concerns you or me or anyone else who is flirting with danger in the way I have explained above.

It's your choice, because only you know your heart. Search it well.

In Christ,
Tracy

Tracy, I do take what you have said seriously. I joke because that is a huge part of my personality and it is a way for me to try and get my feelings across without seeming mean about it. But rest assured, I do take your (and everyone elses here on jude2) wisdom and councile extremely serious! Thanks Tracy

[Dr. Ron]

Sorry, RR, I made a freudian slip with that statement, I guess. However, in context, that is exactly what I meant.

I reserve the "right" to communicate with my spouse about everything. It is the only way to totally "give up my rights" to her. I must have the "right" to communicate about it. I hope that makes sense.

What is meant by giving up rights is the "right to determine my actions 24/7" My responsibility toward my wife is to provide a home, food, clothing, ect. That means I have no "right" to sit on the couch and watch her go to work to provide for me....unless of course I am disabled then she gives up her right to be provided for....I know you get the gist of all this.

Anyway....there it is.....and there is a marriage 201......

[Ilovebigcats]

But you guys have time after you clock out at 3:30 or 5:00 and get one facebook to tell old girlfriends they are beautiful. Yeah.. we are just jealous. Pshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Do you see the frustration? I bet the testosterone prevents it. Sadly... we are sick people.. just one little thing can make us feel worlds better. "Let me watch the spaghetti while you go take your shower!" Oh my goodness... that might get you a booty call! Yep, we are sick people.

Wendy it isn't quite like your making it sound. I don't get off work and plop down at the pc while the wife is slaving away in the background all the while blinded by the huge amounts of testosterone pumping through my viens which makes me oblivious to my surounding.
I come home and am a equal partner in the duties of helping raise our children, clean our home, and cook our food. On the days when I don't cook, I clean the kitchen. Our whole family is involved. Our daughter sets the table, our son messes it up. We all have a nice dinner, talk about the ordeals of the day and then we all clean up.
I am not taking ANYTHING away from all that my wife does. She is a POWERHOUSE in the family and I could NEVER replace her or the things that she does. But it wouldn't be right to gloss over the fact of how involved of a father and husband I am.

My comment was how I feel and geared toward some of the others comments. At least you hear your wife and are willing... that is all that really matters.

[darylscook]

I think that my wife, Terri is amazingly beautiful!!!

Pastor Daryl

[Full Quiver]

My wife is lovely, beautiful, and I adore her. She works her tail off around here and I hate that for her. I hope that I can make a way that one day when the nest is empty we can slip away often and relax, travel, and vacation while enjoying one another in peace and quite.

[Brian]

See, I have inavertantly caused you guys to shower your wives with praise and adoration. And to recognize how important they are to us!
I guess it's true, that God takes the foolish things of this world and turn them around to work for His glory! isn't He awesome!!

[one love]

My wife is lovely, beautiful, and I adore her. She works her tail off around here and I hate that for her. I hope that I can make a way that one day when the nest is empty we can slip away often and relax, travel, and vacation while enjoying one another in peace and quite.

Brother My Anniversary is Monday May 4th, My wife's b-day is May 9th, Mine is May 12th, then mothers day and I want to leave and go on a big vacation just the two of us!!! I understand (not to the extent that you do because I only have 2 kids)
None the less I sure would love to leave for a week or two!!! I thought about doing something this weekend but her uncle J. Anders will be in tonight to start revival at our church. We never get to see him anymore so we are hoping to slip away sometime in the next few weeks or plan something great a month away...

None the less I will do something really special this weekend for her, that she is not expecting but the vacation is on hold..