Friends?

[Ilovebigcats]

There have been many times in my life where I needed a good friend. One that doesn't gossip or back-stab (I have had ENOUGH of those kind!). One that was always there and just mine. I would comment about it and people with good intentions would always quote a scripture... to have friends you must first show yourself friendly. That annoys the heck outta me. Why? Because there are MANY people that are so stinkin rude and ugly and gossipy and back-biters and MEAN and they have many "friends." So I KNOW that scripture is being twisted as a "help" when actually it feels more like a slam saying... *whiny voice* "Well, if you were friendly you would have friends, the Bible says so." That verse does NOT help. Why can't the person quoting that step up and be a friend. I want a friend that is there and not a friend that can quote scriptures and still not be there. Anywho... that is what is annoying me today. Plus, some people... like myself... have a really hard time showing themselves friendly. MANY people think I am rude and mean myself.

In fact I ran into a friend I went to school with years ago and we still stay in contact over the internet... let me tell you.. the internet typer/talker that I am is VERY different in person. I am EXTREMELY backward. He said... well, you are all chatty on the internet but your all quiet now. I said, I know, sorry. I am not to the kind of person that can handle the pressure of small talk and pointless jabbering. I will tell a quick funny or something important. Other than that I am pretty quiet. Unless you get to know me and then you wont get me to shut up.

Lord have mercy, I rambled like a pentacostal preacher in his 5th closing... anyway.. what do you think of the person showing themselves friendly scripture?

[A2JGirl]

I haven't been where you have been, but I can totally relate out of my own experiences!

First of all, I think that scripture is misquoted (and it DOES jab like you are talking about when used that way!).

It says,

Proverbs 18:24 - A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

Doesn't that sound like it is saying to take care of the friends that you already have? Not be friendly to GET a friend. Doesn't say "a man that would have friends..."

Anyway, that's just how I look at it.

And I am totally different online than I am in person. Well, it is another facet to my personality that is easier to share online than in person, until you really get to know me. I hear ya there.

[A2JGirl]

And I'd also like to say Wendy, well, I'll just put it this way...

*queue Golden Girls theme*

LOL!!!

(Well all except for the party and gift part. Presents are not necessary. )

[Ilovebigcats]

And I'd also like to say Wendy, well, I'll just put it this way...

*queue Golden Girls theme*

LOL!!!

(Well all except for the party and gift part. Presents are not necessary. )

Awwwwwww.. *sniff sniff* That's a good song. I will shew (show for those that can't speak KJV English ) myself friendly to you so I can keep ya!

[TW]

Matthew Henry Complete Commentary 1706 says:

Soloman here recommends friendship to us, and shows,

1. What we must do that we may contract and cultivate friendship; we must show ourselves friendly. Would we have friends, and keep them, we must not only not affront them, or quarrel with them, but we must love them, and make it appear that we do so by all expressions that are endearing, by being free with them, pleasing to them, visiting them and bidding them welcome, and especially by doing all the good offices we can and serving them in every thing that lies in our power; that is showing ourselves friendly. Si vis amari, ama - If you wish to gain affection, bestow it. - Sen. Ut ameris, amabilis esto - The way to be beloved is to be lovely. - Ovid.

2. That it is worth while to do so, for we may promise ourselves a great deal of comfort in a true friend. A brother indeed is born for adversity, as he had that is nothing akin to us, the bonds of whose esteem and love prove stronger than those of nature, and, when it comes to the trial, will do more for us than a brother will. Christ is a friend to all believers that sticks closer than a brother; to him therefore let them show themselves friendly.

This is exactly as it appears in my Matthew Henry Complete Commentary 1706, I have not added emphasis, that with appears is by the publisher.


TW

[Jennifer Smith]

Wendy, make this a matter of prayer. God has probably already sent some friends to you, it is just a matter of showing yourself friendly to the ones you have. If you are shy or retiring, it can sometimes be mistrust, fear, or selfishness. For myself, having a large family, I understand. Sometimes it's hard because you don't want to overextend yourself. That verse you quoted in the NIV says, "A man of many companions may come to ruin"-- I'm not sure if this is the right understanding, but that translation makes me think we should be a faithful friend to the ones we have while being open to others God would bring along! God can reveal some to you who are or would be friends you can trust.

Then, you also have to respond! Ahem... by the way did you get the book list pm? It took me some time getting that book list together..and I was/ am willing to ship the books you wanted to you at my own expense..you never responded!

[Full Quiver]

Pr 18:24 ¶ A man <'iysh> that hath friends <rea`> must shew himself friendly <ra`a`>: and there is <yesh> a friend <'ahab> that sticketh closer <dabeq> than a brother <'ach>

The meaning of "must show himself friendly" means he must spoil his friends. Think of it like a child being spoiled by their grandparents. They always want their grandparents, they want to know when they can spend the night, go to their house, they want to have them over, etc. Friends are much the same way. They expect, expect, and expect out of you. They want to be spoiled by you and expect you to spoil them. They want to be the center of attention, want to be at your house or you at their hose, let's do dinner, let's go shopping, etc. They ask what did you buy me while you were on your trip, I'd love to have this for my Birthday, I need this favor done, etc.

The verse does not say in order to have friends nor does it say to have friends.... The Scripture is not a recipe or an instruction manual on how to get a following of friends. It is plain, simple truth that a person that has friends will spoil them. Truth be known that is how friends are kept. If you don't pay attention to your friends, call them, communicate with them, show them undivided attention, and please them at all times then they will most likely not continue to be your friend.

Most people have a few friends and lots of acquaintances. Friends are sometimes hard to manage because they are high maintenance. Do you want 50 kids? Probably not (hopefully not Wen)! 50 friends require the same amount of time, care, and attention in many ways.

[Mike Vande]

Friendships and acquaintances are often formed around common interests. If you can find people who are into what you are into, you'll likely find someone you can talk to comfortably on at least one subject. When you are comfortable talking about one subject, it becomes easier to talk comfortably about others.

I have to agree with the interpretation of Proverbs 18:24 you've run into, up to a point. A person who is unfriendly tends to discourage people from getting closer. And, folks who are "neutral" in responding tend to get a "neutral" reaction from others. What I think attracts people most is seeing someone take a genuine interest in them. Most people are just waiting for someone to show some interest in them. That's the "friendly" part of the Proverbs scripture.

[Brenda]

I think we can have a lot of friends. But as friends are, so are we.
In that we are all alike. (our make up)
We can't be sitting on their door step or on the phone with them and neither can they with us..at all times.
We each have our own lives to live and we get caught up in them.

But as a friends we can let them know we are there for them if they need a helping hand.. and we're always happy to see them. Sharing life's experiences with each other.. at times.

I think there are friends and then...there are friends. Some closer than others.. but still more than aquaintances.

Maybe I'm speaking out of terms here.. but, Oh well.

You all are use to me, by now, anyhow.

[Full Quiver]

Again the verse does not give a recipe on how to make friends or tell us why we do or do not have friends. It clearly states what a man with friends must do. The scenario is a man that already has friends; not a man looking for friends.

[Dr. Ron]

I am your friend Wendy.....trust me....

[Ilovebigcats]

Well... this post wasn't really about me but thanks for all the comments.

I KNOW who my real friends are.

This post was made because a young guy I know recently lost his uncle who was his best friend. He is trying to find a good friend to fill that void. He tries too hard and tends to annoy people. That scripture doesn't help when you ARE looking for a friend and trying to be friendly but there doesn't seem to be anyone around that cares. It just makes you feel more like a loser.

That was my point.

As for me... I have been burned by enough so-called friends that I am real picky with who I call friend.



50 kids.... hmmmm.... maybe with adoption and the lottery! I am game!