Does homeschool cause a child...

[teach]

to be less social or socially inept?

My fiance' and I got into a conversation about homeschooling our children and he thinks that children who are homeschooled with not be as sociable as children who go to school.

What do you guys think about this? He even gave me a stastistic of like 2 to 1 that children who are homeschooled are less sociable.

wendy k

[Shellie]

Don't know where he got the statistic, but I think it is wrong.

When I homeschooled, my children were involved in sports leagues, youth groups, church groups, and homeschooling play groups. I had a few homeschooling moms in my area and we would even do field trips together.

They had a social group...I just got to pick the group!

[Tracy]

What do you mean by 'sociable?' What is a 'well-socialized' child in your opinion?

Will you ask him to site where he got his statistic?

[SBW]

I agree that statistic is wrong. We have been home schooling for about four years now. As long as you are active in your community and church, there are plenty of opportunities for socialization.

Except for maybe band and football, my children are involved with as many friends and activities as they would be in public school. Plus they are learning things in the curriculum we use that they would never get in public school. I am not just talking about "Christian" related subjects, but a richer educational experience in all areas.

[Shellie]

Tracy wrote:

What do you mean by 'sociable?' What is a 'well-socialized' child in your opinion?

Good point. I'd like to follow this avenue for a bit.

Good socialization does not necessarily mean being exposed to all kinds of people. Sometimes a "well-socialized" child is simply one that is too shaped by society.

[DeWayneTN]

I think there's a lot more focus on socialization with homeschooled kids now so I don't really think it's as much of a problem.

As far as socially adept kids, I don't think the extreme of being "worldy wise" is the best solution but at the same time, children can be so sheltered and socially backward that they are taken advantage of and not skilled enough to "connect" for career networking possibilities. I know it's a fictional example but I think of the movie "Elf" with Will Ferrell. Yeah I have seen people that reminded me of him.

[RaceRunner]

Ha! Actually my kids had even more socialization. We did the public school, private Christian school and then (upon their request) Homeschool.

IMMEDIATELY upon starting Home School my kids self esteem shot skyward and they met a large group of kids (some Christians, some not) that they became leaders of. In Al, we are satellite teachers of a private church school umbrella. We met every Friday and had extra curricular and fun classes. Including biology dissecting, chemistry, essay writing, sewing, woodcraft, etc, etc, etc, etc.......whew! You name it, we (almost) had it. Whatever skill a parent had and wanted to teach. We had a lot of professionals or experts lend their knowledge to everyone. Those nurse moms wanted to dissect EVERYTHING! Ugh.

The one problem in Homeschool is that it is possible to OVER socialize sometimes and the mom has to pull back to STAY home to study. PE at the Y, Sign Language classes at the Institute of Deaf and Blind, every Field trip imaginable including a weekend long trip to Dauphin Island science center which included going out on fishing boats, AND a fun campfire on the beach and Alabama football on T.V. If we were learning it, we could find a field trip to cover it if we wanted.

Also a week long annual political camp in Montgomery (forgot the name of it) where they were able to create and pass a bill though the State congress (and eventually work for campaigns if you wished). All this was conducted during normal public school hours and is very rare in public schools.

Add church functions, sports functions, homeschool holiday parties, etc, etc, etc. Homeschooling has really busy schedules and we had to turn down many events and field trips.

At college and on their jobs, my kids talk about how "unsociable" the public schoolers are. They are "trained" by their peers not to excell, but "hide" and not stand out. Sullen and angry is the descriptive words most often used.

I can spot a homeschooling family a mile off and will ask them if I am correct. Outgoing, sociable, creative, bright children who socialize with ALL ages. The teens socialize as easily with each other and with younger ages, as well as adults.

My daughter was on the President's List and Dean's list in College and will finish her interpreters degree & my son currently works at Southern Co. (a full time adult IT job) while finishing his college (which they help pay for

Upon graduating from High School, my kids both shared how much they enjoyed Homeschooling over all the other choices. They have both shared since then how homeschool helped better prepare them for REAL Life, college and their careers.

[teach]

What do you mean by 'sociable?' What is a 'well-socialized' child in your opinion?

Will you ask him to site where he got his statistic?

I'm not really sure what I mean by sociable.

He said he got that statistic from the news. I told him that the news tries to make everything look bad.

anyway, he is not closed to the idea he was just wondering about that.

wendy k

[teach]

I also agree with you guys about the socialization part. They just need to be put in social places that are a controlled environment and that is what I told my fiance' and he agreed with me.

When homeschool started, I think it was a problem, but there are so many programs that deal with that now that it is not a problem anymore!

thanks for your comments. I needed to hear some positive feedback!

wendy k

[A2JGirl]

As possibly the only homeschool life timer here (I mentioned in another thread that I homeschooled all 12 years), I can definitely say that homeschooling does not make a child less social. In fact, I believe it makes him more so!

For one thing, we are not limited to socializing with only our peer group. The homeschoolers I know, including myself, get along better with all age groups better than most public schoolers I know.

I was not sheltered from the world, but exposed in doses my parents controlled. I had healthy environments to learn those things in.

I'm glad that you are considering homeschooling your future kiddos, teach! It's never too early to start figuring out how you want to do things and why so that you can give your kids the best possible experience.

I suggest Mary Pride's books "The Way Home" and "All the Way Home". The first book tells you the "why" and the second tells you the "how".

[Shellie]

I don't think the problems and cons of homeschooling are problems and cons of homeschooling in and of itself. I think the ONLY problems and cons i.e. the downfall with homeschooling is the parent.

If a parent is undisciplined and undedicated, there WILL be problems.

[Tracy]

One way to look at it is this: What better scenario for a child to grow up being able to interact with the people around her than in a loving family? In an age-segregated classroom the child spends most of her time with same-age peers. How well does this prepare her for the real world? In the real world people must interact with all ages--young, old, etc, and be able to get along with them.

In the homeschool, the child lives continually and that-other-forum-that-shall-remain-nameless with the family which consists of all ages (which is more like the real world than a classroom). She will spend more time with family, grandparents, babies, etc. Rather than spending the bulk of her time in age-segregated institutional situations, she lives with people of all ages and that-other-forum-that-shall-remain-nameless in real-life, real-world situations, all the time.

This doesn't mean, of course, that children in classroom situations can't interact socially. What it does mean is that homeschooling uniquely prepares children for social interaction--they have lived and interacted with people of all ages as a way of life and in many real-world situations and are therefore very much able to interact socially.

And the benefit is that they have all the while had major parental influence and presence as they have learned to interact, rather than peer-group influence. Specifically, as they have grown up to interact and socialize, they have looked to their parents for approval, rather than the peer-group. Therefore, the standard for socialization is the parent and family, not peers. I see this as a very positive thing. The competition for the child's heart and loyalty is greatly reduced as the peer-group is eliminated.

You see, if the child spends most of his/her time with age-segregated peers groups, then the authority in that child's life is going to be the peer group. That is what we see all around us in our society--'socialized' children in a herd mentality panting after peer approval in their speech, dress, mannerisms, possessions, values, attitudes, beliefs, entertainment. Their 'authority' is the peer group.

The Bible says that folly is bound up in the heart of a child. Our children do not need to look to other children for their standard and authority.

By and large, however, homeschooled children do not look to a peer group for authority. They look to their parents--the God-given authority. They have not been removed from this God-given structure for 40 hours a week and thrust into an artificial, institutional authority structure. This does not mean that they do not have friends: of course they do. But the friends are just that--friends; not a surrogate authority in their life.

It is fascinating, and I speak from experience observing not only other people's children, but my own.

Don't worry about homeschooling impairing your child's ability to interact with others. Homeschooling will more than likely enhance that ability.

Blessings,
Tracy

[A2JGirl]

I don't think the problems and cons of homeschooling are problems and cons of homeschooling in and of itself. I think the ONLY problems and cons i.e. the downfall with homeschooling is the parent.

If a parent is undisciplined and undedicated, there WILL be problems.

I totally agree, Shellie. That being said, there is a wealth of material and curriculum out there to help parents, even those who tend toward disorder. If you are dedicated to the task, there IS a way to get it done!

[teach]

I don't think the problems and cons of homeschooling are problems and cons of homeschooling in and of itself. I think the ONLY problems and cons i.e. the downfall with homeschooling is the parent.

If a parent is undisciplined and undedicated, there WILL be problems.

I completely agree with you! There are alot of kids in public school who are socially inept and I think parental influence has alot to do with that as well.

Parents are the #1 influence on a child, and teachers are number 2, so if I am both, then I have a better chance of my child learning what is right.

wendy k

[Paully_44]

I totally disagree with the 2:1 statistic, but then, I have nothing to back me up. I dont even know anyone who is homeschooled.


Do you think that homeschooling is more popular in certain parts of the country than in other parts?