Who's at fault? And how can I help?

[DeWayneTN]

Cats, I've heard Jim Burns (author of youth and family books) talk about this subject, too, since he has a big family. You might try googling some of his stuff or checking it out at the library.

[n2jesus]

You can request the manager waive the extra gratuity...If the service isn't good especially...I have done it myself...

[DaJudge]

My whole point is that I shouldn't be penalized for having a large family? Who set the family of 4 boundary?

There's no boundary. American society as a whole has just moved in the direction of smaller families over the last 100 years. Restaurants and other businesses set up their facilities to serve the majority, not the minority. It just makes good business sense. I don't see how you've been "penalized". It's not like they are turning you away without serving you.

[DeWayneTN]

I read your blog. I'm curious though. In Cleveland, I went to all these restaurants with large parties and they sat us together no problem, including Cracker Barrell (we had a regular group of 8 adults that they put at a round table in the corner). Do you not want to sit with all of your kids? Is that why you encounter resistance, because the restaurant wants kids at supervised tables?

[MacUser]

I would call ahead and reserve as much as possible. This is what we do with larger groups. Maybe this will help you with the seating and service?

[Ilovebigcats]

I read your blog. I'm curious though. In Cleveland, I went to all these restaurants with large parties and they sat us together no problem, including Cracker Barrell (we had a regular group of 8 adults that they put at a round table in the corner). Do you not want to sit with all of your kids? Is that why you encounter resistance, because the restaurant wants kids at supervised tables?

We don't fit at the round table. The high chair has wider feet. All the chairs don't push up completely for the kids to reach the table properly. I guess it could work with adults because the chairs are further back from the table to accommodate the adult gut.

I would rather sit with my kids but we have learned that we fit better if we get 2 tables. My kids are NEVER unsupervised. Ever.

Cleveland is better about larger groups because they have a lot of large groups come in with all the churches and such. It isn't that way here in Nashville.

I will say, when we lived in Murfreesboro that we didn't have this much trouble. They get a lot of groups as well.

I am not trying to be difficult. I am not going in a slam packed restaurant and asking for too much space. We generally go at off times with no crowd and there are plenty of tables around us. And it is only at certain places.

Demo's- Excellent seating! They have tables of 8 already set up. Not to mention EXCELLENT portions and prices.

Davy Crockett's- Excellent seating! We get 2 rectangle tables pushed together making our table a table for 8! Excellent prices as well. 4 of the kids eat free. We tip well.

Toot's- The tables are huge. Kids eat free. We tip well.

Shoney's- we usually get 2 tables separate or the back room where we can spread out together. 2 kids eat free. The kids love it.

Red Robin and Chili's- Large group seating. Good prices for kids.

Applebee's- It's never crowded when we go and we always get 2 tables. It isn't the kind of place where you can push tables together easily. So we separate. No problems. Kids eat free on Tuesdays. We tip well. Plus the balloon/face painting clown gets tipped as well.

Red Lobster and Olive Garden- Excellent seating. High prices and usually a wait to be seated. We don't go here much... but we have never had a problem being seated.

And on the other hand... there is place in Murfreesboro called Mike's Catfish. It is super small. We almost always split up. They are usually glad to hear we will. 4 kids eat free. They like when we come in. We tip well. They like well behaved kids.

So you see... there are a few places that are not accommodating for a large family. I am not the problem. They are.

BTW... I emailed them offering my assistance in helping with the issue. I got 2 replies and I think one of the commented on my blog. I sent the link.

DaJudge- I would like to invite you over for dinner. We will seat you in the closet. We are not accustomed to serving just one. You are a minority in this family. Absurd? YES!

[DeWayneTN]

Ok, I understand. It's true some restaurants aren't as set up for larger families. Vote with your dollar and go somewhere else.

Here's an interesting kinda related story. A Disney World restaurant caused a stir last week here for banning all children under the age of 12. It's a swanky place at one of the resorts. Now if they'd just ban them from the parks, we wouldn't have to wait in long lines.

[DaJudge]

I would rather sit with my kids but we have learned that we fit better if we get 2 tables. My kids are NEVER unsupervised. Ever.

I don't know your children and I won't dispute that. However, most places I go out to eat, I see children whose behavior is atrocious. That being the case, I'll cut the restaurant a little slack if they are reluctant to seat seat 4 kids at a table by themselves.

Toot's- The tables are huge. Kids eat free. We tip well.

Bet they love to see you coming. They have to file Chapter 13 after feeding that crowd for free!

DaJudge- I would like to invite you over for dinner. We will seat you in the closet. We are not accustomed to serving just one. You are a minority in this family.

I don't eat where I'm not welcome, and, quite frankly, you might think about doing the same. If you don't like how a particular restaurant treats you, vote with your feet and your dollars and EAT SOME PLACE ELSE.

[dolfan]

Pick your battle wisely, and hammer away on it for impact.

You've mentioned a lot of different things, but frankly engineering proximities and seat design may not be your area of interest. And, you probably won't make a ripple in the water on that now.

But, what you can do is offer a real, tangible money-saving, convenience-furnishing, value-adding service that leverages all of that information. I can think of a couple of things. A food-buying "cell group" sort of cooperative. Start very small, maybe 3-4 families. Figure out where the savings are in taking the bulk quantities of warehouse sellers like Sam's and Costco, find the margins per family and see where you have room to make money by providing a service that purchases, allocates and delivers smaller family-friendly portions of those bulk items. If there's no money to be made, then it just isn't a good idea after all.

If you find one thing to do and make it both function as it proposes and profitable to you, then use that success to add to it another "battle" you want to fight. Add more families/customers to your existing base, and find which service is next in line as ripe for benefitting them and with sufficient margin to make it worthwhile for you. Limit all this to where you are now, and if that works ..... well, success breeds its own and you could be looking to extend your business idea into really larger territory.

[Ilovebigcats]

I would rather sit with my kids but we have learned that we fit better if we get 2 tables. My kids are NEVER unsupervised. Ever.

I don't know your children and I won't dispute that. However, most places I go out to eat, I see children whose behavior is atrocious. That being the case, I'll cut the restaurant a little slack if they are reluctant to seat seat 4 kids at a table by themselves.

I know exactly what you are talking about. My kids sit and stare at those kids. LOL!

Toot's- The tables are huge. Kids eat free. We tip well.

Bet they love to see you coming. They have to file Chapter 13 after feeding that crowd for free!

HA! Actually only the hotdog is free. They get a free hot dog, fries and small cup of ice cream. The kids love to go there. They get a balloon that is promptly released when we reach the van so we can watch them race to the sky. Fret not, the companies wont offer something free unless it was really really cheap for them to begin with. LOL!

DaJudge- I would like to invite you over for dinner. We will seat you in the closet. We are not accustomed to serving just one. You are a minority in this family.

I don't eat where I'm not welcome, and, quite frankly, you might think about doing the same. If you don't like how a particular restaurant treats you, vote with your feet and your dollars and EAT SOME PLACE ELSE.

We typically do. But my kids love the salad bar at Ruby Tuesday. We have been several times hoping they will learn that we aren't bad customers and tip well and maybe give us adequate seating. They are not making the cut though.

We have our places that we frequent. The few times we try Ruby Tuesday there is ALWAYS a problem. I may talk to the manager to let them know my thoughts next time we go. And just to let you know... we go to 3 different Ruby Tuesdays and it is always the same.

[Ilovebigcats]

I need to make a website for large families that advertise for business that accommodate us. Maybe that will lead to other things in the future...

[Ilovebigcats]

Ok, I understand. It's true some restaurants aren't as set up for larger families. Vote with your dollar and go somewhere else.

Here's an interesting kinda related story. A Disney World restaurant caused a stir last week here for banning all children under the age of 12. It's a swanky place at one of the resorts. Now if they'd just ban them from the parks, we wouldn't have to wait in long lines.

Honestly.. I can't blame some places. People need to pick the paddle back up and stop with all the "time out" nonsense!

[DeWayneTN]

I need to make a website for large families that advertise for business that accommodate us. Maybe that will lead to other things in the future...

That's a really good idea. Check out some domain names and start with just a blog if you want. When you start getting millions of hits a day, google will pay you big bucks for advertising.

[Pastor Bill]

It's not you, or your size on that one. Ruby Tuesday's (once one of my favorites) has really let their service drop, I was just talking to someone about this last week (in Georgia I think) and it seems to be true everywhere.

You said you've had problems every time you go, that has been our experience over the last couple years as well (at different locations, not just one).

[Shellie]

Ruby Tuesdays in Florida is horrible with service, seating and pricing. I don't think the problem is how big your family is, I think the problem is that particular restaurant.

I agree with you about the children. I HATE to go out and eat with other people that do not make their children sit down and not make a mess. Matter of fact, I avoid it and only do it when absolutely necessary like birthday dinners or such.

I cannot STAND for a parent to walk off from a table and leave a huge, soppy, nasty mess underneath the high chair. I have been known to clean out from under someone else's kids high chair simply so they don't represent me and or make somebody else their servant.

I also cannot STAND for kids to be up out of their seats running around. Trust me...other diners do not find your child as cute as you do.

Oh yeah, don't want to forget this, tipping well does NOT cover messy, screaming, ill-behaved children either. Tip well, make your kids behave, AND clean up their mess before you go!

Okay, I'm getting dizzy...stepping off soapbox now.