'You know you're a redneck when......?

[ichthus]

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

5. You think 'The Nutcracker' is a vice on the work bench

6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

12. Your grandmother has 'ammo' on her Christmas list.

13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

17. You have a rag for a gas cap.

18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

19. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean ?

20. You can spit without opening your mouth.

21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say 'Cool Whip' on the side.

24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal*Mart.

25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV

26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.

[Paully_44]

wait, we can poke fun at "rednecks" but not COGOP traditions??? what is this world coming to.

[A2JGirl]

My point exactly.

9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

This sounds like me! Except replace "dump" with "Goodwill" (my husband would say they are one and the same... unless I find something good for him! LOL!)

[dolfan]

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

Check.

4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

Check

12. Your grandmother has 'ammo' on her Christmas list.

I'll do you one better. Mine shot her boyfriend in the hand with a .22 pistol. So, ... check.

14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

Custody fight? How about fist fight? Check. (Well, I haven't done it, but I've seen it done, and it wasn't a hunting dog. That's all that kept someone from getting shot. See previous item.)

15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

Check.

16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

One. Check.

17. You have a rag for a gas cap.

Been there, done that. Check.

18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

Technical departure: My car had house speakers in it when I was a teenager.

19. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean ?

No, I don't. I KNOW how we do it.

20. You can spit without opening your mouth.

Check.

22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

No, we leave that to the UPC folks around here. Seriously.

23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say 'Cool Whip' on the side.

When I was a kid, we ate cereal from them. So, check.

25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV

Have done that. So, check.

28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

I will exercise my right to remain silent.

[stevenson]

Now what a minute, my wife is from WV and I don't appreciate you talking about her like that........just kidding! But Paully is right. You can make fun of rednecks but not COGOPers. It's funny that the thread was about the COGOP not TCOG. But it was TCOG folks who got upset!

[rough_rider]

8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

Scooter came to my mind on this one...

[Alan]

16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

But are we talkin' the little square bales or the big round bails?

[scooter]

This is the most insensitive post I have seen in a coons.....wait... in a long time. I think these people need prayer rather than being the brunt of someones cruel jokes. You posters should be ashamed to call yourselves Christians. This post should be removed as it is offensive to any Appalacian American.

[ichthus]

wait, we can poke fun at "rednecks" but not COGOP traditions??? what is this world coming to.

Hey, who says this list isn't COGOP (or COG, TCOG,etc)?

Just read the list again and imagine them with beehives and long skirts and throwing in a few "halleluyers" or "whoop, whoop...Gloo-ray" and it may well be the same crowd!!!

[PastorDaniel]

This is the most insensitive post I have seen in a coons.....wait... in a long time. I think these people need prayer rather than being the brunt of someones cruel jokes. You posters should be ashamed to call yourselves Christians. This post should be removed as it is offensive to any Appalacian American.

Appa.....whu....don' yu cal me that..."I'll come dowwn thar an whup yer tayell!!

[Dr. Ron]

You have described a majority of my family in one way or another.....and the downside of that is??????????