Reaching out to people INSIDE your church

EagerBeaver · Postby **EagerBeaver** » July 23rd, 2008, 4:40 pm

Pastors, ministry staff, laity and general churchgoers --

What are you doing in your local church to ensure everyone from the most popular down to the kid who smells like he hasn't taken a bath in a decade, is made welcome and fits in at your church?

Do you ever see examples of your members not going the extra mile to involve people in their lives?

I ask because I am currently in a dilemma...I posted it on my blog and it's a bit much to repost. It's a good background though. Read the blog post if you wish, to gain some understanding for my question...

http://www.chris-brewer.com/2008/07/23/ ... ry-of-mine

fezzik · Postby **fezzik** » July 24th, 2008, 3:47 am

1. A lot of people are going to approach you - the new guy - cautiously. They do not want to scare you off. At the same time, they are reaching out slowly...asking you about your job is easy because they know you have a job and it's something they can talk about.

2. You are going to have to make yourself available to a small group atmosphere at some point if you want to forge close relationships with people in a large church. You have to be willing to put yourself out there a ltitle bit...you can't always expect people to come running to you and make you open up, no matter the size of the church.

Pastor Bill · Postby **Pastor Bill** » July 24th, 2008, 4:01 am

Fellowship is as needed as worship, but most often overlooked in today's churches. We end up being consumers or customers than having real relationships within the church, and unfortunately for some that also transfers to their relationship and understanding of Christ.

We end up having our real life, and church life as separate entities that often do not effect one another, bolstering hypocrisy and religion over a true life changing relationship with Christ and with the church.

Some will get beyond that, and some will get involved on their own in small groups, or other activities and build relationships, but what about those that don't?

I agree with you Chris, this is a BIG problem in so many churches today, we have to start focusing more on fellowship. In fact if you really look at things the unsaved are more likely to seek fellowship with people than they are to seek worship, if they aren't finding it in our churches, there are social networks, bars, clubs, etc. that will provide it, but not lead them toward God, while they feel more connected away from church, eventually they will just stay away.

PastorDaniel · Postby **PastorDaniel** » July 24th, 2008, 4:39 am

Just a question Chris....

I noticed on your blog that you repeatedly pointed out how no one has attempted to get to know you....maybe I missed it....but have you tried to get to know any of these folks.... :?:

Sometimes "we" have to reach out for what we want. I've struggled with these very same feelings....My wife and I both found that we had to put "ourselves" out on a limb and it's at that point that someone reached out to us.

Maybe you are doing this...if so...never the mind....just a thought.

EagerBeaver · Postby **EagerBeaver** » July 24th, 2008, 5:01 am

PastorDaniel wrote:Just a question Chris....

I noticed on your blog that you repeatedly pointed out how no one has attempted to get to know you....maybe I missed it....but have you tried to get to know any of these folks....

Sometimes "we" have to reach out for what we want. I've struggled with these very same feelings....My wife and I both found that we had to put "ourselves" out on a limb and it's at that point that someone reached out to us.

Maybe you are doing this...if so...never the mind....just a thought.

Yeah I do put myself out on a limb...in fact most of the time it's me initiating the conversation.

A large part of this could be that our church has so much turnover, that people might be a little scared about getting to know someone new and then them run off and move away, or something. I just don't know.

Pastor Bill · Postby **Pastor Bill** » July 24th, 2008, 5:21 am

But isn't that a HUGE problem, large turnover means people aren't getting grounded and growing. Wouldn't they be more likely to stay if someone was to connect with them?

Since when is it the newcomer's responsibility to reach out to the church? Now Chris you have been in church for awhile, and would probably consider yourself a mature Christian, so yes, you should be doing this, BUT it's surely not going to work with new converts.

I think you are seeing a big need in that local church, something you yourself may be used to change. Talk to the Pastoral staff and see what you can do to make this better, not just for yourself, but to really reach out to new Christians.

EagerBeaver · Postby **EagerBeaver** » July 24th, 2008, 6:02 am

Pastor Bill wrote:But isn't that a HUGE problem, large turnover means people aren't getting grounded and growing. Wouldn't they be more likely to stay if someone was to connect with them?

Since when is it the newcomer's responsibility to reach out to the church? Now Chris you have been in church for awhile, and would probably consider yourself a mature Christian, so yes, you should be doing this, BUT it's surely not going to work with new converts.

I think you are seeing a big need in that local church, something you yourself may be used to change. Talk to the Pastoral staff and see what you can do to make this better, not just for yourself, but to really reach out to new Christians.

A lot of the change seen at my church is from mainly college folks or young professionals who were at the church for four years or so, got a job and had to leave. I think they do have some well-established and grounded individuals in the church, as evidenced by a good number of elders in the body.

I consider myself a somewhat mature Christian. I'm going through a huge transitional phase in my faith and it's at that point where I need some folks to step alongside me and really lend a hand. You're definitely right about the new converts though, PB -- but they have a good program of constant contact with new converts.

PastorDaniel · Postby **PastorDaniel** » July 24th, 2008, 6:50 am

Chris, you seem mature enough....see about starting your own connection group....work it around "your" schedule and advertise it for those with "your" interests....you might get surprised at the interest!

rjjunior · Postby **rjjunior** » July 24th, 2008, 10:29 am

fezzik wrote:2. You are going to have to make yourself available to a small group atmosphere at some point if you want to forge close relationships with people in a large church.

Best advice so far.

The "acceptance/inclusion" issue is a constant struggle in congregations, big or small. Yet, I have found that (most of) those who never seem to truly connect with folks don't make time for committed small group interaction. (of course there's always other issues, reasons, etc...)

Jude 2