A brother offended...

[Pastor Gary]

"A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city"

Ever really hurt someone or offend someone? Ever done so without even having a CLUE that you have done it.

Well, that's where I find myself today. It is a horrible feeling. Trying to undo the damage is like uncracking an egg, and assuring the injured party that what you did was out of stupidity or lack of sensitivity (rather than evil motive) is hurdle number one.

I feel sick over this, and the big election suddenly seems insignificant.

[dolfan]

I have, and I know what you mean.

[paul]

more than once and totally clueless about it until a later date. Felt sick to my stomach, couldn't sleep. Repented, it did'nt really change anything. I hope I learned from it.. Not sure..pray I don't do it again.

[Carlene Prince]

Yes sis, I have done it too, and also felt sick, (like a dog) and I was praying and God put into my heart—that we Christians are family, and there will be times when we misunderstand each other, become offended by what is said or done. It goes with the territory—it goes with being human.

And when Christians offend, the only way thing to so is let time heal the wound under the working of the Holy Spirit, and by the Word of God.

And you know what, in time it was healed…I feel for you brother and will be praying.

[Pastor Gary]

A follow-up question: have you ever been the one offended, and, if so, if the offending party came to you sincerely contrite, trying to mend the relationship, were you able to get past it and really move on?

[Russell Roberts]

"A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city"

Ever really hurt someone or offend someone? Ever done so without even having a CLUE that you have done it.

Well, that's where I find myself today. It is a horrible feeling. Trying to undo the damage is like uncracking an egg, and assuring the injured party that what you did was out of stupidity or lack of sensitivity (rather than evil motive) is hurdle number one.

I feel sick over this, and the big election suddenly seems insignificant.

I will suspend my self imposed ban for the moment to comment on this one brother Gary. I'm sorry to say that I can relate - too much. I did that in a recent insensitive post about grief.

In answer to your second question, I am often the offended party. I make it a practice to forgive readily. The forgiveness I have received from God is exponentially without proportion to the forgiveness I have offered to others.

[RamboPreacher]

yes, been there, did that - i can completely empathize.
and to the second part - BTDT too. and yes. some things take longer than others to get over, though.

[Brian]

"A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city"

Ever really hurt someone or offend someone? Ever done so without even having a CLUE that you have done it.

Well, that's where I find myself today. It is a horrible feeling. Trying to undo the damage is like uncracking an egg, and assuring the injured party that what you did was out of stupidity or lack of sensitivity (rather than evil motive) is hurdle number one.

I feel sick over this, and the big election suddenly seems insignificant.

I will suspend my self imposed ban for the moment to comment on this one brother Gary. I'm sorry to say that I can relate - too much. I did that in a recent insensitive post about grief.

In a weird way I am sure that was harder to admit than it might seem.

[Mike Vande]

Question #1
Who me, offend soneone?
Question #2
Don't you have to care what someone says to be offended?

[Dr. Ron]

Have done it recently....and far too often in my life without knowing or intending to do that....it is a problem with my temperament.

However, when offended, I ask to be forgiven for being offended. I feel that if I was offended, then maybe I wasn't as mature as I should be.

I feel your pain......

[Tim Elston]

A follow-up question: have you ever been the one offended, and, if so, if the offending party came to you sincerely contrite, trying to mend the relationship, were you able to get past it and really move on?

I have been deeply hurt a few times. In every case time has allowed me to sympathize with the offender's perspective and thus enabled me to forgive. It took time for me to gain that perspective, however, because real hurt is a mix of emotions that takes time to subside. In one case, I still think that the offender is basically evil and intended me harm. (Not the one you know about, Gary.) I don't want ever to be in the company of that person again, for that reason, but, still, when I think of him I feel sorry for him and wish him the best in life - without me.

The bottom line is that whether the person forgives you is up to him or her. If he or she has the capacity for sympathy, time will allow that person to see things from your perspective and forgive you. A gesture of contrition on your part will be important input to that person's process of coming to terms with your perspective, even if initially he or she is too hurt to accept it.

[Full Quiver]

Pastor Gary, I was deeply hurt several years ago by several that I trusted with my life and eternal soul. It caused me many years of pain and heart ache. They never, not once, sought to make that right but through some wonderful counsel I was able to seek the Lord on their behalf, repent of my thoughts and feelings, and grant them forgiveness and grace. I now find myself praying for their well being and not their punishment. It is a wonderful liberty that I have found and it brings great joy to my soul.

[scooter]

my self imposed ban .

Response: Should this be moved to the Praise forum?

[Gerald Creasy]

I've been offended, stomped on, abused and back stabbed so much -by friends, close realtives and pastors- I don't think I'd know what it was like not to feel anything else.

Life is tuff; get over it.

I don't know why people think being a Christian means you have to go around with your lip quivering and your feelings stuck out.