I'm starting a new Church based STRICTLY on scripture...

Russell Roberts · Postby **Russell Roberts** » November 26th, 2008, 6:09 am

Anybody want to join? Here is our website.

http://www.freewebs.com/holiness-snake-handlers/

crispfin · Postby **crispfin** » November 26th, 2008, 6:17 am

You had me until the dress code. I reserve my right to wear the flashiest pinky rings I can find.

Russell Roberts · Postby **Russell Roberts** » November 26th, 2008, 6:25 am

Crisp, we might be willing to make an exception for you brother. Come on brother. Follow the leading of the spirit. Come on over to the obedient, scriptural, truth-loving side. :lol:

crispfin · Postby **crispfin** » November 26th, 2008, 7:24 am

irthnvesl wrote:Come on over to the obedient, scriptural, truth-loving side.

I can see how the church is strong on the obediant side:
Abstaining from news papers, television, radio

I can appreciate the value an isolated, ignorant group of followers who don't think or ask questions can have to a denomination or a pastor. :twisted:

RamboPreacher · Postby **RamboPreacher** » November 26th, 2008, 7:34 am

communist non-voters.

hehee

Russell Roberts · Postby **Russell Roberts** » November 26th, 2008, 8:48 am

Well, I haven't totally finished going through our doctrinal issues with a fine tooth comb. One non-negotiable requirement is that you must be married to your first cousin. :lol:

crispfin · Postby **crispfin** » November 26th, 2008, 9:11 am

8: The belief that Satan seduced Eve to commit the very first act of adultery so he could
polute the human race and she gave birth to Cain. (Gen 3: 1-7/ 14- 17).

Well I learned that the fall of man was far more erotic than I ever thought. :shock:

Russell Roberts · Postby **Russell Roberts** » November 26th, 2008, 9:25 am

crispfin wrote:
8: The belief that Satan seduced Eve to commit the very first act of adultery so he could
polute the human race and she gave birth to Cain. (Gen 3: 1-7/ 14- 17).

Well I learned that the fall of man was far more erotic than I ever thought.

Crisp, is that on MY page? We try to have a little fun with our doctrine just to liven things up a bit. After all, we are snake handlers. :lol:

Crisp, thanks for bringing that one to my attention. I guess I never realized how strange my beliefs really are...but they're fun to put out there - just to see peoples reactions.

Russell Roberts · Postby **Russell Roberts** » November 26th, 2008, 9:40 am

Here is another one of our policies I really like...nice and STRICT, just like I like em.

17: The belief that a man and a woman (who are dating & plan to be married) must not
touch one another (not even hand holding) until marriage. (1 Cor 7: 1-2).

Take THAT you whoremongering children. You won't commit the intimate and shameful act of holding hands in my presence, bless god. I'll knock the crap out of you. Try that junk near me I'll turn your little world around 360 degrees. I'll knock a popknot on yor head a calf could suckle on. I don't play those games children.

Pastor Bill · Postby **Pastor Bill** » November 26th, 2008, 9:48 am

Would that mean that shaking hands as people leave the church would constitute adultry? even homosexual adultry!

Russell Roberts · Postby **Russell Roberts** » November 26th, 2008, 9:51 am

UUuuuugggghhhhhhh. Please brother, Logic is not allowed in my new church.

Pastor Bill · Postby **Pastor Bill** » November 26th, 2008, 9:58 am

irthnvesl wrote:UUuuuugggghhhhhhh. Please brother, Logic is not allowed in my new church.

I'm sorry, I thought you said you were wanting to try something new!

Russell Roberts · Postby **Russell Roberts** » November 26th, 2008, 10:00 am

Nope. I'm strictly traditional Pentecostal Holiness with signs following and no logic allowed.

Full Quiver · Postby **Full Quiver** » November 26th, 2008, 5:57 pm

Just plain silly!

Jude 2