Three things Jesus NEVER said...

Russell Roberts · Postby **Russell Roberts** » November 27th, 2008, 4:46 pm

1) How do I look?

2) I deserve better.

3) What's in it for me?

Wish I could say the same. Pastor Ed Cloud Hauser said you must know these things to get to heaven. So buckle up kids and GET to memorizing. I couldn't help but notice that my beloved pastor normally forgets ONE of them and has to ask for help!!! :lol:

Tighten up ED!

free · Postby **free** » November 27th, 2008, 6:30 pm

Pretty sure He never said:

1. Pass the gravy

2. Do you want mustard or mayo on your turkey sandwich?

3. You made pineapple what......?

crispfin · Postby **crispfin** » November 27th, 2008, 6:34 pm

And even if, by some weird chance, he had accidentally said any of those things you better bet your sweet bippy he never smiled. Ever. :shock:

Russell Roberts · Postby **Russell Roberts** » November 28th, 2008, 2:42 am

That, crisp, is an excellent observation. He NEVER once smiled or laughed. I think that Jesus is very austere, somber, serious...not to be joked with. And you can rest assured he's not too happy with some of my shenanigans.

crispfin · Postby **crispfin** » November 28th, 2008, 4:04 am

irthnvesl wrote:That, crisp, is an excellent observation. He NEVER once smiled or laughed. I think that Jesus is very austere, somber, serious...not to be joked with. And you can rest assured he's not too happy with some of my shenanigans.

I'm sure he gets fed up with mine too. However, I assume I'm an irrepressible scamp and all will be forgiven. Hmmmm, does this make me a universalist? Actually I'm probably more of a particularist 'cuz this only applies to me. Everyone else better repent! :shock:

Dr. Ron · Postby **Dr. Ron** » November 28th, 2008, 9:10 am

1. I'm gay
2. I love Alabama football
3. Let's go to the IA

Now having said that.....I don't get where you think Jesus never smiled..or laughed...I don't see him as somber...I think he was a practical joker....I mean water into wine......come on man........

Russell Roberts · Postby **Russell Roberts** » November 28th, 2008, 1:01 pm

Dr Ron,

I guess sarcasm doesn't come across well in the 'typed' word. :lol:

Russell Roberts · Postby **Russell Roberts** » November 28th, 2008, 1:03 pm

crispfin wrote:
irthnvesl wrote:That, crisp, is an excellent observation. He NEVER once smiled or laughed. I think that Jesus is very austere, somber, serious...not to be joked with. And you can rest assured he's not too happy with some of my shenanigans.

I'm sure he gets fed up with mine too. However, I assume I'm an irrepressible scamp and all will be forgiven. Hmmmm, does this make me a universalist? Actually I'm probably more of a particularist 'cuz this only applies to me. Everyone else better repent!

Again, I'm going to have to quit being sarcastic. It doesn't come across in type. I think my shenanigans make him smile...maybe laugh.

Paully_44 · Postby **Paully_44** » November 29th, 2008, 7:12 pm

1. Hey John, you didnt dunk me all the way under!

2. If you think this fish is big, you should have seen the one that got away.

3. Aw mom, all the other kids are doing it.

Dr. Ron · Postby **Dr. Ron** » December 1st, 2008, 6:59 am

Yep, I got it......and I know what you mean about the sarcasm thing. Boy, I have been nailed on here so many times for that.....ugh......

Keep on with your bad self.

crispfin · Postby **crispfin** » December 1st, 2008, 7:21 am

1. Do you have a personal relationship with me?

2. I said it, I believe it, end of story.

3. Let's hear the minutes from our last meeting.

:lol:

Full Quiver · Postby **Full Quiver** » December 1st, 2008, 7:34 am

He NEVER once smiled

Are you implying that the baby Jesus that Ricky Bobby loves to pray to never passed gas? :oops:

crispfin · Postby **crispfin** » December 1st, 2008, 8:12 am

Full Quiver wrote:
He NEVER once smiled

Are you implying that the baby Jesus that Ricky Bobby loves to pray to never passed gas?

All I'm saying is the only Jesus you ever see smiling is the blasphemous "Buddy Christ"!

The true Jesus is no nonsense like the Christ of Sinai icon, one of our oldest images of Christ.

And as if you need more proof, I give you white Jesus. He would not smile if you paid him.

So enough with this laughing Jesus heresy! And if baby Jesus ever popped off, he would have atoned for it immediately! But never, ever, ever would he have smiled! :evil:

Jude 2