Funniest. Christmas. EVER!

[crispfin]

On Monday we were putting up our Christmas tree, and after we had put the tree together we discovered that half our Christmas lights didn't work! I was none too happy. But while that may have been annoying, my absolute worst childhood Christmas memory (now it's kinda funny) was when me and my brother had come downstairs on Christmas morning to see what Santa had brought. So we came down quietly because you never know if Santa might still be around, and once me made it down slowly peeked around the corner to find...No Presents! Our mom had worked really late Christmas Eve, and had fallen asleep before she put out the presents. I handled it okay because I had already begun to suspect the truth about Santa. But my little brother? He was traumatized, and thought Santa hated him.

So that got me thinking: Anyone else got funny Christmas stories? Whether they happened at your house, a relative's, the mall, church (that's always a goldmine for hilarity), etc. feel free to share your hilarious tales of yuletide yucks!

Besides, think of all the money you'll save by airing it here instead of in therapy . . .

[soulsearcher]

This happened in the days or yore when little country churches "put on" Christmas plays, using quilts on clothes lines for curtains, and bathrobes, towels and sheets for costumes. At the most sacred moment of our play, the nativity scene, my uncle was behind the "curtain" with a record player, ready to put the needle down on "Silent Night," when what to our wandering ears should appear? "Jingle Bell Rock!"

[Jennifer Smith]

soulsearcher, that is so funny. I remember some great church plays too.

One year my little sister got a little antsy about wanting to open presents and she was pretty sly. She opened a few things and taped them back up and noone was the wiser. But, she went a little too far. Grandma and Grandpa had given us fat envelopes with the words, "Do not open until December 25th" on them. Well, that was just too tempting an invitation for sis. Christmas morning we found a fat envelope with a five-year old's cursive handwriting on it, vaguely resembling the one Grandma and Grandpa had left for us, it said, "DonotopenuntilDember25.":)

[Brenda]

When our kids were little we lived in this house that had a key locked pantry room down in the basement.
This room stuck out into the basement as an added room. We used this room to store the gifts that were bought for them.
This was when our kids still believed in Santa Clause.

We would wait till the kids were in bed and go into this secluded (we thought) room to wrap all the gifts.
Christmas eve of course we'd gather all our gifts and put them under the tree.
When our kids got older (then is when the truth comes out) we were informed by them that the room that was build by lumber
had spaces between them to where they could look in and see the gifts. We never noticed the space because there was a shelf over it.

We thought we were being sneaky.
We thought they believed in Santa and all along they knew it was us with the gifts.

[crispfin]

Speaking of Christmas plays, when my brother was little he played one of the shepherds during the church Christmas play. Midway through it, the towel on his head came loose and fell off. Mom began to motion to him to just put it back over his head. She later said that the mischievous look he gave her let her know it was hopeless. He began to cover his face with it, flip it at his fellow shepherds, and finally twirl it over his head like he was in Pittsburgh. The audience loved it. She wanted to crawl into a hole and hide.

[rjc]

One that I remember well was when my father decided he was not going to buy a real tree and have it shed all over the floor. Against all of our wishes and mostly mother's he bought a silver metal tree (at least they called it a tree) with one of the color spotlight wheels to sit under it. When mother saw it she refused to decorate it, ordered it to be taken out of the house and also informed him how cold his nights would be until it was out of the house. By the next day it was out of the house and down at their office. A couple of years later when money was really tight we did end up with that tree at home but that was the only time. Daddy never did understand why we didn't think that tree was beautiful, of course he liked red velvet and gold braid.

[Jennifer Smith]

One that I remember well was when my father decided he was not going to buy a real tree and have it shed all over the floor. Against all of our wishes and mostly mother's he bought a silver metal tree (at least they called it a tree) with one of the color spotlight wheels to sit under it. When mother saw it she refused to decorate it, ordered it to be taken out of the house and also informed him how cold his nights would be until it was out of the house. By the next day it was out of the house and down at their office. A couple of years later when money was really tight we did end up with that tree at home but that was the only time. Daddy never did understand why we didn't think that tree was beautiful, of course he liked red velvet and gold braid.

that is cute. You don't see those much anymore!

[crispfin]

One that I remember well was when my father decided he was not going to buy a real tree and have it shed all over the floor. Against all of our wishes and mostly mother's he bought a silver metal tree (at least they called it a tree) with one of the color spotlight wheels to sit under it. When mother saw it she refused to decorate it, ordered it to be taken out of the house and also informed him how cold his nights would be until it was out of the house. By the next day it was out of the house and down at their office. A couple of years later when money was really tight we did end up with that tree at home but that was the only time. Daddy never did understand why we didn't think that tree was beautiful, of course he liked red velvet and gold braid.

That's cool. My mom had one of those growing up and she loved it.

[Jennifer Smith]

A friend bought a pink tree last year- she was so happy with it! Whatever floats your boat.


Our tree is green with white lights and silver and white ornaments. This is funny: ten-year-old son said I was "vain" because I didn't put on the old, homemade ornaments this year. ? But we have a color scheme! He's almost eleven, can deal with the fact that I didn't use his "baby's first christmas ornament" am I right?

[oletimer]

crispfin
Speaking of Christmas plays, when my brother was little he played one of the shepherds during the church Christmas play. Midway through it, the towel on his head came loose and fell off. Mom began to motion to him to just put it back over his head. She later said that the mischievous look he gave her let her know it was hopeless. He began to cover his face with it, flip it at his fellow shepherds, and finally twirl it over his head like he was in Pittsburgh. The audience loved it. She wanted to crawl into a hole and hide.

[TW]

A friend bought a pink tree last year- she was so happy with it! Whatever floats your boat.


Our tree is green with white lights and silver and white ornaments. This is funny: ten-year-old son said I was "vain" because I didn't put on the old, homemade ornaments this year. ? But we have a color scheme! He's almost eleven, can deal with the fact that I didn't use his "baby's first christmas ornament" am I right?

Only if your a "YUPPIE."

Personally, Christmas to me is a "family thing," not an exercise in interior decorating. Stick with the family ornaments that have a story behind each and every one.


TW

[Sherry]

Not funniest, but cute...

When we were kids, my sister and I would wake up at 5:00 or earlier ready to head over to Grandma and Grandpa’s house. We all would bundle up and pile in the car to drive the short distance to their house. It was still dark and no one on the streets, so it was a magical time for us. Our grandparent’s house would always be dark when we pulled up, and we knew we would have the great big honor of surprising them by sneaking in and waking them up. We always did try to sneak a peek at the tree (and presents!) but mom would shoo us away to go wake grandma and grandpa. They would be so surprised as we pounced on their bed with cheers of “Merry Christmas!” The older I got the magic started to fade though….when I noticed that, the coffee pot was brewing, and this was before auto-timers, and Grandma would already have her robe on while lying in bed. But they never took that joy away from us.

[Jennifer Smith]

A friend bought a pink tree last year- she was so happy with it! Whatever floats your boat.


Our tree is green with white lights and silver and white ornaments. This is funny: ten-year-old son said I was "vain" because I didn't put on the old, homemade ornaments this year. ? But we have a color scheme! He's almost eleven, can deal with the fact that I didn't use his "baby's first christmas ornament" am I right?

Only if your a "YUPPIE."

Personally, Christmas to me is a "family thing," not an exercise in interior decorating. Stick with the family ornaments that have a story behind each and every one.


TW

That is one part of it, but we all helped decorate this tree and he was the only mild dissenter... We had a "homespun" tree last year and made gingerbread ornaments and the whole nine yards... and all the kids' ornaments (some of which are looking pretty tired!) were on the tree. We're all pretty happy with the tree this year- it looks like snow and it is beautiful!

[Ilovebigcats]

A friend bought a pink tree last year- she was so happy with it! Whatever floats your boat.


Our tree is green with white lights and silver and white ornaments. This is funny: ten-year-old son said I was "vain" because I didn't put on the old, homemade ornaments this year. ? But we have a color scheme! He's almost eleven, can deal with the fact that I didn't use his "baby's first christmas ornament" am I right?

Only if your a "YUPPIE."

Personally, Christmas to me is a "family thing," not an exercise in interior decorating. Stick with the family ornaments that have a story behind each and every one.


TW

That is one part of it, but we all helped decorate this tree and he was the only mild dissenter... We had a "homespun" tree last year and made gingerbread ornaments and the whole nine yards... and all the kids' ornaments (some of which are looking pretty tired!) were on the tree. We're all pretty happy with the tree this year- it looks like snow and it is beautiful!

This is when you find a free tree on Craigslist and set it up in another room with the old stuff on it.

[crispfin]

One Christmas my uncle got a new pair of fairly expensive jeans. The convenience store down the street was open, and we needed to get something we were out of. So I and all the cousins get ready to go, when we see him come downstairs wearing his brand new jeans. My mom reminded him that it was a little icy out there and he might want to reconsider. He just brushed her off. So as we're going down the road, we suddenly hear a noise behind us and a loud "RIPPPPP!". We turn around, and there's my uncle on the ground with the butt of his pants blown out and his tighty whities exposed for all the world to see.

He was none too happy. He didn't get any happier when mom started quoting Proverbs at him.