Jude 2 Virtual Church

Postby **Shellie** » January 13th, 2009, 7:07 am

Paully wrote:

Need an assistant?

Hey, whatever it takes to get you into the altar. :lol:

crispfin · Postby **crispfin** » January 13th, 2009, 7:16 am

Jennifer Smith wrote:
crispfin wrote:
Jennifer Smith wrote:Crispfin, what kind of God-given talents do you have?

I can touch my nose with my tongue. That one's real popular with the ladies.

Hmm, I dunno if I'd put that in the "talent" category.. though it is

interesting!

My mom can pull her lips up to her nose (I can too )

To give a serious answer to your question, people say I write very well. Does the church need a propaganda minister?

Oh, I also do puppets. Big surprise there. :wink:

Dr. Ron · Postby **Dr. Ron** » January 13th, 2009, 7:18 am

Well, as the Presiding Bishop, First Among Elders, I will endorse ministry credentials.....

Rambo....you will be ordained in our first meeting.....You may certainly preach, teach, baptize, take members in ....( will there be a covenant?) and take up offerings (you can't keep em, but you can take em up).

Pastor Gary will be accountable to me by filing out a Pink report from the back of the minutes .......it will need to be on my desk on the 5th of each month.....

Man.......I can get into this authority stuff.......wow!!!!
Actually, I didn't think I missed it this badly.

JanB · Postby **JanB** » January 13th, 2009, 9:30 am

Gerald Creasy wrote:I wanna be "the Catcher"

You know: The guy that catches people just as the begin to be "SLAIN IN THE SPIRIT!" so God dosent injure them by making them fall.

Sincerely,

Gerald "Oops!" Creasy

This thread has turned out to be so funny... so entertainingly hilarious!

Poimen · Postby **Poimen** » January 13th, 2009, 2:48 pm

Paully_44 wrote:
Shellie wrote:I'll do thong patrol.

As the ladies bow in the altar, I will stand behind them so that they are not a stumbling block to the men in the pews.

Need an assistant?

Great! The elders have conferred, and I am happy to announce we have appointed you Paully as the official altar thong patrol for the men's altar. :shock:

Shellie will of course have charge of the women's altar. :wink:

paul · Postby **paul** » January 13th, 2009, 2:53 pm

Dr. Ron said:

Pastor Gary will be accountable to me by filing out a Pink report from the back of the minutes .......it will need to be on my desk on the 5th of each month.....

Now that is funny :band:

Poimen · Postby **Poimen** » January 13th, 2009, 2:59 pm

Dr. Ron wrote:Well, as the Presiding Bishop, First Among Elders, I will endorse ministry credentials.....

Rambo....you will be ordained in our first meeting.....You may certainly preach, teach, baptize, take members in ....( will there be a covenant?) and take up offerings (you can't keep em, but you can take em up).

Pastor Gary will be accountable to me by filing out a Pink report from the back of the minutes .......it will need to be on my desk on the 5th of each month.....

Man.......I can get into this authority stuff.......wow!!!!
Actually, I didn't think I missed it this badly.

Brother Ron , no man takes this honor to himself. We, the elders, are co-elders. And as has already been stated, PG has been given the first chair.

It is all to easy for us to get puffed up when handling such authority and resposnibility. Thankfully we were able to set this matter staright before it caused a sedition. :shock:

Chosen_Generation · Postby **Chosen_Generation** » January 13th, 2009, 3:45 pm

I just wanna be a good lil member... but since that's never been an option i'll help sing in the Worship Services, Minister in the Word when needed and helping in the Church Office.

now... i might have to transfer if Dr.Ron goes down the road to Organize Southside Jude2 Virtual Church

PastorDaniel · Postby **PastorDaniel** » January 13th, 2009, 4:56 pm

Poimen wrote:
Paully_44 wrote:
Shellie wrote:I'll do thong patrol.

As the ladies bow in the altar, I will stand behind them so that they are not a stumbling block to the men in the pews.

Need an assistant?

Great! The elders have conferred, and I am happy to announce we have appointed you Paully as the official altar thong patrol for the men's altar.

Shellie will of course have charge of the women's altar.

I laughed out loud when Paully asked to be the assistant....I nearly fell in the floor when you appointed him to the "mens" altar....

EagerBeaver · Postby **EagerBeaver** » January 13th, 2009, 6:23 pm

I am the true Overseer of this church.

You all have departed from theocracy and are hereby declared Apostate by myself.

I am starting a new church called The Jude 2.

Chosen_Generation · Postby **Chosen_Generation** » January 13th, 2009, 8:04 pm

now . now Chris.... my grams (great grandma) said many years ago...

Go ahead and start yer own, i'm sure there will be some that'll follow you..

Dr. Ron · Postby **Dr. Ron** » January 14th, 2009, 5:31 am

No......Pastor Gary is the Pastor......that is understood....but he has to be accountable to the GO......ME ......and if you (Elders) want voting rights, then you will need to draft a constitution and leave the body over which I alone am General Overseer.....so saith the man.....

I stated it first and that settles it...........btw, the KJV annotated will be our official bible......if it was good enough for Jesus and the Disciples it should be good enough for us.....

And I don't want to hear any more of this rebellion by you (elders...self proclaimed).......

Pianoman · Postby **Pianoman** » January 14th, 2009, 5:42 am

Shellie wrote:Paully wrote:

Need an assistant?

Hey, whatever it takes to get you into the altar.

Duct tape ya'll! I'm telling ya - duct tape will cover a
multitude of sins!

EagerBeaver · Postby **EagerBeaver** » January 14th, 2009, 8:20 am

Dr. Ron wrote:No......Pastor Gary is the Pastor......that is understood....but he has to be accountable to the GO......ME ......and if you (Elders) want voting rights, then you will need to draft a constitution and leave the body over which I alone am General Overseer.....so saith the man.....

I stated it first and that settles it...........btw, the KJV annotated will be our official bible......if it was good enough for Jesus and the Disciples it should be good enough for us.....

And I don't want to hear any more of this rebellion by you (elders...self proclaimed).......

You? GO? I do not recognize you as such. I am the true GO, you have departed theocracy by overriding the Benevolent Dictactor of our Realm.

The Jude 2 shall live on under a similar yet different banner that I shall maintain somehow does not violate any copyright laws.

Dr. Ron · Postby **Dr. Ron** » January 14th, 2009, 10:37 am

Now listen , you young upstart, Pastor Gary accepted the position of Pastor....not of GO. Since my experience and longevity superscede that of Pastor Gary.....and I know of his desire to be "accountable" I willing assume the reponsibility God has prepared me for all these many years.

I will humbly perform the duties of this office.

Jude 2