I need to hear from you women!

[RaceRunner]

I understand you racerunner.....but you are being very simplistic about what could become a larger issue.

Placating a problem exacerbates it. I did say to remove the person in question....but then to proceed with finding the cause of the jealousy.

Btw, Jealousy is NEVER a good emotion. It is the mark of total immaturity and insecurity. "Jealousy is as cruel as the grave" means that it is cruel to the person to whom it is directed. Jealousy causes all kinds of strife. In fact, God hates it.

I tell my wife I love her, that she is beautiful, I take her on dates EVERY Friday night with my cell phone off....she is the only thing important then.

But, I reserve the right to express my feelings about beauty. She agrees with me. I know and have known for years that our relationship is solid in that respect.

Again, don't do one without the other. Take the lady off, but then discuss the issue. You will have a better life for it later. It will cause you to mature together.

It ain't jealousy big boy. It's her right.

But it is typical male behaviour to blame a woman of being emotionally overwrought (jealous) when he feels that he might be deprived of something he feels is "his right". As in quote: "But, I reserve the right to express my feelings about beauty." Innocent though you feel it to be.

Go read the "temptation" thread again in the doctrine forum...especially since ya'll feel that men are just constant victims of temptation and can't overcome it by Sanctification.

[DaJudge]

I gotta agree with the sisters on this one Brian. I think it's disrespectful of my wife to tell any other woman that she's looks good or is beautiful or whatever. I also think that doing so opens the door to trouble, and who needs that? And if she asked me to de-friend someone on FaceBook, I'd do it out of respect for her.

[RaceRunner]

I gotta agree with the sisters on this one Brian. I think it's disrespectful of my wife to tell any other woman that she's looks good or is beautiful or whatever. I also think that doing so opens the door to trouble, and who needs that? And if she asked me to de-friend someone on FaceBook, I'd do it out of respect for her.

You are correct. It is called R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

[Tracy]

Hello ladies!! Listen, I really need to know how you would react to your husband or boyfriend making a certain statement about another woman. My wife is following this thread so please feel free to lay it out for me EXACTLY how you see it.

Yes, the comment was inappropriate.

And you should defriend this person on facebook. It would probably be wise to stop facebooking altogether. That would be my advice.

In Christ,
Tracy

[Ilovebigcats]

I gotta agree with the sisters on this one Brian. I think it's disrespectful of my wife to tell any other woman that she's looks good or is beautiful or whatever. I also think that doing so opens the door to trouble, and who needs that? And if she asked me to de-friend someone on FaceBook, I'd do it out of respect for her.

Look at DaJudge rounding up brownie points!

I can't comment on this without getting personal with someone.

So I will just say this Brian... SINCE I AM A WOMAN! Hello!?
If your wife has weird feelings and typically doesn't have issues then delete it.

[Dr. Ron]

With all due RESPECT to you all, the "no way, no day" response is not the answer to all the issues.

It is disrespectful to your spouse to lie too. To try to make her think you don't see other people as pretty, beautiful, lovely, ....that is decietful.

If you refrain from saying anything at all, it gives the impression you are not willing to communicate. It is better to be honest than to worry about having to "deal with isues". I would not want to be in a relationship that would smother me from being able to talk openly about any subject. I do not call that disrespect.

DISRESPECT.. is when you begin comparing......that is what is "off limits".

Tracy, I don't understand your advise to "stop facebooking altogther." That seems extreme. We are not assuming our brother has a "problem" with women here.

[Ilovebigcats]

With all due RESPECT to you all, the "no way, no day" response is not the answer to all the issues.

I didn't say it was.

It is disrespectful to your spouse to lie too. To try to make her think you don't see other people as pretty, beautiful, lovely, ....that is decietful.

We aren't stupid. We see hot guys all the time.

If you refrain from saying anything at all, it gives the impression you are not willing to communicate. It is better to be honest than to worry about having to "deal with isues". I would not want to be in a relationship that would smother me from being able to talk openly about any subject. I do not call that disrespect.

That is exactly right... for both parties. But if we are instantly looked upon as low self esteemed jealous women then is that considered willing to communicate? It is disrespectful to assume all cases are as such.

DISRESPECT.. is when you begin comparing......that is what is "off limits".

Disrespect is insulting our intelligence and casting aside our opinions.

Tracy, I don't understand your advise to "stop facebooking altogther." That seems extreme. We are not assuming our brother has a "problem" with women here.

I agree.

[Ilovebigcats]

I feel your pain.

Well bless your heart.
Why don't you start your own little Jude2 experiment?

[Dr. Ron]

Cats, I agree with you. It is a two way street. I thought I was communicating that .....but then you know me.....thanks for the help there.

Yep, women do get weak in the knees over Pitt, Jackman, Cloney, Me.....I understand.....

We have to work toward Mutual Respect......that is the way it is done.

[Ilovebigcats]

Cats, I agree with you. It is a two way street. I thought I was communicating that .....but then you know me.....thanks for the help there.

Yep, women do get weak in the knees over Pitt, Jackman, Cloney, Me.....I understand.....

We have to work toward Mutual Respect......that is the way it is done.

I agree.

Though I am not fully agreeing with the Clooney/Jackman thing... I think Max Martini is hot stuff... for those that don't know he is Mack on The Unit... here's the deal.... I have ZERO shot at ever getting with him.

Now, I would think there would be a SERIOUS issue if he friend requested me and I let him know how hot he was and he returned the favor and we were getting acquainted. Messages, chatting, phone calls, etc...

TV crushes and old girlfriends are 2 VERY different things.

[Ilovebigcats]

HAHAHAHA!! I just caught the "me" line!!! LOL!!!

Danny will have to get over his worry cause I am keeping YOU on my friends list. Email me later. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Dr. Ron]

I knew you would get it soon.....

YOu know Mack looks a lot like Danny......see how that works?
And you never know....Twitter does wonders......

[RaceRunner]

Dr. Ron Quote: It is disrespectful to your spouse to lie too. To try to make her think you don't see other people as pretty, beautiful, lovely, ....that is decietful.

And it would be a lie and deceitful if she kept her reservations and feelings against it to herself. You instantly assumed she was jealous and had insecurities or self-esteem issues. I didn't see that in Brian's post. She was uncomfortable...shared her feelings...and he evidently wishes to please his wife.

Dr. Ron Quote: If you refrain from saying anything at all, it gives the impression you are not willing to communicate. It is better to be honest than to worry about having to "deal with isues". I would not want to be in a relationship that would smother me from being able to talk openly about any subject. I do not call that disrespect.

Which is exactly what Brian's wife did...she communicated and was openly honest about her feelings and it was instantly assumed (smothered) that she is insecure and jealous by you.

Double Standard. Wanna have your cake and eat it too.

[Ilovebigcats]

I knew you would get it soon.....

YOu know Mack looks a lot like Danny......see how that works?
And you never know....Twitter does wonders......

He does look like Danny! Most people I think are hot look like Danny! I married some hot stuff.

[Pastor Bill]

I will second Dr. Ron's comment that Jealousy is not a good thing.

Jealousy is a symptom of something much deeper, and that needs to be addressed, whether it's insecurity in the relationship, lack of trust, or even past personal failures.

Yes do what you can to serve your wife in this situation, and if that means cutting out the old friend, then do so, but don't let the jealousy stay in the relationship, have some real conversations maybe even counciling. it can poison a relationship.