I need to hear from you women!

[Dr. Ron]

This has been a very interesting experiment. Brian, you should save this for a research project in marriage counseling.

The women's responses are the same as I expected as are MOST but certainly not all of the men's.

First of all I don't know the temperaments of each of these two people. That would be an important step.

Secondly, we would need to know if this was a serious wound or just a concerned request. Is there a pattern (Tracy addressed this)....Have there been indiscretions in the past?

Btw, I did not call this jealousy. I think that was someone else. Maybe it is or maybe not.

As for you ladies looking out for your husbands to keep them from the "snares of the devil" the word is clear on how that is supposed to be done. I trust those of you who agree on the concept are applying that in your daily lives.

Cats, I so sympathize with you about the work load. It is tough. However, you are blessed to have a washer and dryer...a couple of kids old enough to help with all those chores, a stove to cook on, and now......a refrigerator that works...(oh by the way, that's where Danny has been)...lol

As for the man coming home and expecting something that his wife is too tired to give, remember the sermon I preached a while back on priorities in relationships. Nothing is more important than time with our spouse. I know, I know.....when do I get all this time? Well, I won't get into all that just yet....I usually get 120.00 an hour for this kind of advice lol

Btw, both spouses being on the computer at night does not constitute a date.....maybe Tracy is right.....let's all get rid of our computers. I do not get on mine at night when I am home with my wife.

You all have a great evening now....you hear....

[RaceRunner]

...I usually get 120.00 an hour for this kind of advice lol...

There ya go...does that make you feel better.

[MacUser]

...in fact...turn off facebook...take your wife out on dates...spoil her...tell her how overwhelmingly beautiful you find HER. You'll be happy you did.

Now this is the best advice period.

[Dr. Ron]

Mac, we usually agree on most things.

What RR has suggested and is widely applauded is a one time fix to a potential long term problem.

I agree with doing that ....but not as a token of repentence.

Men should always take their wives out at least once a week. When we stop dating our girlfriends, we lose good wives. (Lord I hope you all understood that)....

[RaceRunner]

...in fact...turn off facebook...take your wife out on dates...spoil her...tell her how overwhelmingly beautiful you find HER. You'll be happy you did.

Now this is the best advice period.

Mac, we usually agree on most things.

What RR has suggested and is widely applauded is a one time fix to a potential long term problem.

I agree with doing that ....but not as a token of repentence.

Men should always take their wives out at least once a week. When we stop dating our girlfriends, we lose good wives. (Lord I hope you all understood that)....

Did I suggest a short-term one time fix???
Did I suggest a TOKEN of repentance??

I get it....you're one of those people who repeats what someone else has said, but repeats it in a fashion that you can take credit for it?

Not worth your salary today DR. Ron. I think we need a refund of that

[Pastor Bill]

A wife being uncomfortable with a situation does NOT have to equal jealousy.

As a woman, with spiritual discernment, I may see something in a situation my husband does not. (just as a husband with discernment may keep me from trouble).

I have known this to happen more than once. Men are sometimes blind to seducing spirits. (females can be as well) A helpless single female that needs pastoral "spiritual" help...a sensitive man willing to listen to a tired wife's woes...you get the picture.

It is my job to watch out and protect my marriage, my home, my children and the ministry that involves them all. Satan desires to have all of these things. I have to be on my toes to guard against any satanic foothold.

If I am uncomfortable with a situation, it could equate spiritual discernment and not giving place to the devil instead of jealousy. Being aware of all dangers is not only wise, but Biblical.

Let's try to give Brian's wife a little credit here instead of marking her as a jealous wife with self-esteem issues.

Let's not get this stretched father than it was meant just as everyone is focusing on the importance of what his wife FEELS, over the actual risk, it's also important to understand how Brian FEELS with this request, and yes it does come across as jealousy.

That does NOT mean it's not warranted, or prudent, but it IS still harmful, and they DO need to have some real open discussion about it both to know where each other stand, as well as to deal with the deeper issues. It's not that we're being blind to seducing spirits or anything like that, but these are some of the underlying issues that need to be discussed.

We all agree that when it comes to a choice between how your wife feels about something, and a FB connection with an old friend/girlfriend, go with the wife 100%, BUT at the same time there seems to be more there, and your marriage is worth taking the time to dig deeper.

jealousy is a symptom of something deeper, NOT NECESSARILY a problem or fault on her part, as pointed out it may be something HE is not seeing, or not realizing, but it is ALWAYS a symptom of something deeper, and a reason to come together to work on that deeper relationship.

[Full Quiver]

Deleting the Facebook altogether sounds like Advice to members to me.

Most people I think are hot look like Danny! I married some hot stuff.

I was gonna say more but after this comment I'll bow out with a smile!!!

[Shellie]

Pastor Bill wrote:

Let's not get this stretched father than it was meant

I was asked my opinion and I gave it.

I do find it funny though that all but one man is defending that this is perfectly okay and that it is a jealously problem. Just saying.

[Dr. Ron]

Wow, RR, you okay today? Hey man, I am on your side. Not trying to upstage you.

You got it right man,......okay?

[RaceRunner]

Wow, RR, you okay today? Hey man, I am on your side. Not trying to upstage you.

You got it right man,......okay?

Yes and Thank you.

That would be Mrs. RaceRunner.

[Pastor Gary]

I do find it funny though that all but one man is defending that this is perfectly okay and that it is a jealously problem. Just saying.

I stayed out of it because he asked for the views of women, but I think the middle path here may be true:

It was NOT perfectly okay (boneheaded move, IMHO, and a younger-man's error... when I see my old high school classmates on Facebook I usually think "pretty well preserved for a gal our age." And, I think his wife's reaction might well have some jealousy at the root --- but, again. if he makes these kinds of moves often, she would have reason to be somewhat insecure and jealous. But, that's a man's opinion so it is not valid.

[MacUser]

As a woman, with spiritual discernment, I may see something in a situation my husband does not. (just as a husband with discernment may keep me from trouble).

... It is my job to watch out and protect my marriage, my home, my children and the ministry that involves them all. Satan desires to have all of these things. I have to be on my toes to guard against any satanic foothold.

Excellent Post Shellie and spot on. I wish we had MORE women such as yourself on guard.

I'm not equating your response as exactly to what Brian needs... as I think it's something only he and his wife can resolve amicably.

We are all fallen beings. We all need constant forgiveness and grace applied. I'm the first to get in that line.

[Pastor Bill]

Btw, I did not call this jealousy. I think that was someone else. Maybe it is or maybe not.

No actually the first mention of this as jealousy was applauding jealousy, to which you responded that it was not a good thing.

I agreed with that, and I think it got us branded as calling Brian's wife jealous.

That is NOT what I meant, nor do I think it was what Dr. Ron meant, but jealousy is a problem in a relationship, and I think always a sign of something deeper somewhere, and I think it's always in the best interest of both to work through the deeper issues than to just address the surface.

is it wrong for him to call a woman beautiful, no

is it wrong for him to have a previous girlfriend as a fb friend, I hope not, I have at least 3! My wife has met 4-5 of my past girlfriends, she had a few less past boyfriends, but the one she was closest to sang at our wedding, and we've stayed overnight at his home, went to visit just a couple weeks ago, we've visited my past girlfriends, even had one drop in for an overnight visit a few years back.

Is it wrong for him to make his wife feel uncomfortable about a current or past relationship - YES

Should he do everything to make her comfortable with all his current relationships (even if they are only fb) - YES

if this is an issue at all should they openly talk about the reasons WHY it is an issue and dig down to the deep honest feelings they both have - YES, it will make their marriage stronger, remove fears, protect against concerns, and overall strengthen their relationship to one another which is more important than any other relationship (except to Christ)

[MacUser]

Wow, RR, you okay today? Hey man, I am on your side. Not trying to upstage you.

You got it right man,......okay?

Yes and Thank you.

That would be Mrs. RaceRunner.

LOL.. Dr. Ron.. you are a smart man.

[Ilovebigcats]

Deleting the Facebook altogether sounds like Advice to members to me.

Most people I think are hot look like Danny! I married some hot stuff.

I was gonna say more but after this comment I'll bow out with a smile!!!

See... proved exactly what I said. HA!