I need to hear from you women!

[teach]

Hey Brian,
They were complaining and worried that Jude2 was slow and dying a few weeks ago. You have single handedly rescued Jude2 from extinction!

amen!

wendy k

[Brian]

hey everyone, there a alot of posts in this thread and I probably dont have the time to address each and every one in great detail. But I DO want to touch on quite a few things that most of you said. So, I guess I will go through them and just highlight the main points and snip out the rest and give quick comments to some of the issues I see here. Like Dr. Ron said, this is a great thread and can offer alot of insight between the dynamics of men and women. So I do want to touch on alot of stuff, but it will probably be brief, forgive that.

[Brian]

.......comments like, "you're just overreacting" moves the radar light from yellow to red.

So because it may (or may not) be my position that my wife has "overracted" , does that mean for absolute certainty that the situation is "in the red"?

[Brian]

Maybe she has some hang ups or self esteem issues.

That is completely possible, however, in the spirit of FULL disclosure....I have in fact been unfaith in my marriage about 15 years ago. She was gacious and forgiving enough to stay with me and rebuild our marriage. But it was a long and hard road (as it should have been for me) and there is still some apprehenion toward certain types of things. Like this.

[Brian]

yeah, yeah, yeah blah, blah, blah....men always rationalize their behaviours, and like their women to allow them to get away with stuff.

You asked for a woman's point of view. We don't have to rationalize it, nor explain it. Forget Dr. Ron and Full Quiver. They're men. What do they know....and who cares what they think anyway?

Whatever the motives....blaming this issue on your wife's "need" is stupid. Women have needs. Get over it. Which are basically to feel loved, secure, needed and wanted by her husband. If she rightfully feels insecure over this...then fix it. They are her feelings and you lovingly have to respect them...just like you request that she lovingly respects your feelings on other subjects that deal with your needs.

Block the girl on FaceBook....I'm sure she'll get over it.....in fact...turn off facebook...take your wife out on dates...spoil her...tell her how overwhelmingly beautiful you find HER. You'll be happy you did.

Helllllooooooo RaceRunner First let me say that I DO in fact tell my wife how "overwhelmingly beautiful " she is! She is simply the most amazingly beautful woman I have ever met!!

Secondly, I didn't try to "rationalize" anything. I openly admitted that I was wrong and that those words should have NEVER been spoken. but the last time I checked time travel was still a thing of science fiction. lol
Of course my wife has needs. And there are probably a ton of things I could do above and beyond what I do now to reienforce in her how much I care, love, cherish, and ador her. But men have needs as well. And while I know you were just yankin' my chain, men shouldn't be told to "just get over it" any more than women should.

[Brian]

It ain't jealousy big boy. It's her right.

But it is typical male behaviour to blame a woman of being emotionally overwrought (jealous) when he feels that he might be deprived of something he feels is "his right". As in quote: "But, I reserve the right to express my feelings about beauty." Innocent though you feel it to be.

I know you weren't talking to me, but as a "typical male" I'm gonna butt in!
I didn't "blame" anything on my wife at all. And what is this thing you speak of "women having rights"? I don't believe those words can ever be used in a sentence togetter. LOL J/K Sure women have rights!!! The right to remain silent!

[Brian]

It would probably be wise to stop facebooking altogether.

Stop facebooking altogether?!!!! Tracy do you have SWINE FLU!!!! LOL

[Brian]

But you guys have time after you clock out at 3:30 or 5:00 and get one facebook to tell old girlfriends they are beautiful. Yeah.. we are just jealous. Pshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Do you see the frustration? I bet the testosterone prevents it. Sadly... we are sick people.. just one little thing can make us feel worlds better. "Let me watch the spaghetti while you go take your shower!" Oh my goodness... that might get you a booty call! Yep, we are sick people.

Wendy it isn't quite like your making it sound. I don't get off work and plop down at the pc while the wife is slaving away in the background all the while blinded by the huge amounts of testosterone pumping through my viens which makes me oblivious to my surounding.
I come home and am a equal partner in the duties of helping raise our children, clean our home, and cook our food. On the days when I don't cook, I clean the kitchen. Our whole family is involved. Our daughter sets the table, our son messes it up. We all have a nice dinner, talk about the ordeals of the day and then we all clean up.
I am not taking ANYTHING away from all that my wife does. She is a POWERHOUSE in the family and I could NEVER replace her or the things that she does. But it wouldn't be right to gloss over the fact of how involved of a father and husband I am.

[Brian]

I wouldn't feel "threatened" at all if my hubby made a comment like that as long as I was getting lots of compliments from him letting me know that i was the only one for him and that I was more beautiful than anyone else.

Thank you jessica! And thats what I think has been overlooked here. I do in fact shower my wife with compliments all the time!

[Brian]

What a pot has been stirred with the responses...............his wife is a wise woman to allow the post, she knew the answer before the question was posed.

Brian it's your wife you love and your wife is the one that has a problem with this and that should be the end of the subject.

Yea she knew what you guys would say...its a conspiracy I tell ya!!

And about me having the problem......thats just the thing....I dont care in the least about this girl on FB!! It only may seem that way because the conversations have escalated BECAUSE OF THE CONVERSATION! As I said, I removed her and havent batted an eye. I care MORE about how my wife feels than a person in whom I haven't seen in over 18 years!

[Brian]

The man goofed.
His wife called him on it.
He tried to get some sympathy from Jude2.
It didn't work.
Get over it and face it like a man.

You really are reading alot into this racerunner!! Yes I goofed and admitted such from the get go! NO I didn't try to get sympathy, SHE asked me to post it here!! And I AM facing it like a man.

[Brian]

This has been a very interesting experiment.

That is the understatement of the year!!!

[Brian]

Meanwhile.....

Brian is now afraid to post on this thread...has deleted several old friends off of Facebook....hugged, kissed & apologized to his wife....and is either making plans for or getting all dolled up for that date he owes her.

Too Funny!!! LOL LOL LOL kinda true, but still funny!!

[RaceRunner]

I didn't "blame" anything on my wife at all. And what is this thing you speak of "women having rights"? I don't believe those words can ever be used in a sentence togetter. LOL J/K Sure women have rights!!! The right to remain silent! :P

Oh no, you didn't.

[Pastor Bill]

Pastor Bill wrote:

Let's not get this stretched father than it was meant

I was asked my opinion and I gave it.

I do find it funny though that all but one man is defending that this is perfectly okay and that it is a jealously problem. Just saying.

That's what I meant by stretching it, Neither Dr. Ron nor I are calling this a jealousy problem, nor are we saying it's OK.