I need some opinions....

[cndlou]

I have been told I am wrong in something I do (imagine that ) so I would like your opinion... Example: I have this friend and we have been very close, talking everyday about everything, emailing etc. Then suddenly she quits calling and when I call she is always to tired to talk, doing something else etc. I continue trying to communicate with her for several month (more than 2) and it is the same thing.....I have even ask if I have done something wrong...and the reply I get is..no, not that I know of... I finally just give up and call it quits...I don't try to call anymore and pretty much just write her off as a "friend"... I have been told this is wrong... if we were such close friends I should continue to try to contact her without fail... AM I WRONG???? My thinking is...why??? If she really is my close friend...should I not be as important to her to at least try to find time to talk with me... Oh, and I forgot...she hardly returns missed calls..... Opinions, please....

[MacUser]

This might not be about you.. but her. She might be experiencing a bad [enter trouble here] and it is overwhelming her. She might consider it a very private matter and or you would not understand issues due to your stated comments in the past on the topic etc. This could be leading to depression and other more serious issues.

Why not contact her other friends and ask if they are being treated the same way. Ask "gently" if she is doing ok and if anyone else noticed the personality change etc. If they have seen it also.. it might be the signs of a deeper problem of where she actually needs you to be a good friend.

If you find it's seriously just directed toward you and she is ok in every other aspect.. then yes.. it might be time to move on.. yet remain speaking friends. Never isolate anyone if you consider yourself a Christian. Show the love of Christ regardless.

[Jennifer Smith]

cndlou, if you give her a little time and space she may come back around.

I think a little "overlap" or closeness in friendships can be good, but it may be she just doesn't want to be as close right now. Too much overlap can become co-dependent or stifling. I would just give the relationship to the Lord. Ask Him for wisdom and give her time to come around.

A friend of mine backed off and it was because she was going through a lot and somewhat falling away from the Lord- she finally left her husband and now splits custody of them with her husband. I remained her friend from a distance. I was able to at least be here without judgment, and give what encouragement she would receive. I am praying she will come back to the Lord. She has two little girls, they are a beautiful family. I know I don't know everything about the "why" and I am trying to just be a friend that cares.

I hope that helps! It hurts, but try not to take it personally. There is no way to truly know what is going on on her end, unless she shares it with you.

[dolfan]

Cndlou, let your friend have her space. Whatever she's either working through in terms of problems, or whatever she is doing and is preoccupied by, or if she's just "not that into you" so to speak, I would just be a little more patient perhaps and wait and see what turns. Something will. Either you'll start to have more contact again, more normal like, or she'll confide in you, probably. And, it could be a permanent deal where she's just put some distance between you for some reason you may never know. People are like that, too. Either way, contently going on with your life is the only way (IMO) to deal with it. She remains a friend, just a now-different kind.

[cndlou]

Thanks for the replies and the opinions... They have been very insightful... I will take the advice and give it some time... I think my biggest thing with it all is... TRUST... I have a hard time with trusting people because of past experiences and tend to shy away when I think my trust will be compromised... Anyway, thanks!