advice solicited

[Full Quiver]

So I've got this friend, whom I consider to be a very good friend (maybe I should reconsider) and he and his wife go out with me and Wen from time to time. They are a bit younger than us, have two kids which my oldest daughter watches sometimes, and we even went on a mini vacation with them to MS, AL, and LA this summer.

Well they were looking for a church because they weren't happy with the Messianic Church they were attending. They heard us talk about CRC so they wanted to come and they have maybe 10 times. For a while they called it their church but now it's "your" church which is fine. They were a part of our old small group but complained about the size of it, large, and that some people didn't seem serious about studying the Bible.

Now we have a much smaller small group, 4 couples and the children, and we meet weekly. These particular friends were very adamant that they wanted to study the Scriptures and not have life lessons (isn't that what the Word is for). Seems that they and another couple aren't very knowledgeable of Bible events, history, stories so we said sure thing.

Everyone agreed to go chapter by chapter starting with Matthew. Well he were are in week 3 and they are bailing on tonight's meeting. This frustrates me because they were so vocal about wanting this, looking for a church where they could learn such, etc. Of course they haven't been to church anywhere on a Sunday morning in weeks. If you find it so important to know history, events, etc. of the Bible then why on Earth would you keep your kids from Sunday School?

I told them straight up they need to find a church they like and go there but nothing. Of course I hear this about they want to counsel folks, pray for folks, lead folks, teach folks, pray out devils, etc.

I am so frustrated. He told me he needs to stay home tonight because something is coming up with his job that will be great for his career. Am I wrong that God would be great for one's career? What about the fact that he left work early today; wouldn't that hurt your career before studying God's Word with other believers would?

BTW, neither of them have even brought their Bibles with them to any meetings.

How do I approach this or do I at all?

[MacUser]

Speak your seed into this and rest. ... and stop scratching on it.

Ask any farmer whom is trying grow something. If they keep scratching the seed that they planted... it will die.

[paul]

Speak your seed into this and rest. ... and stop scratching on it.

Ask any farmer whom is trying grow something. If they keep scratching the seed that they planted... it will die.

Words of wisdom my friend

[dawgs10]

[quote="MacUser"]Speak your seed into this and rest. ... and stop scratching on it.

Ask any farmer whom is trying grow something. If they keep scratching the seed that they planted... it will die.[/qu

lots of wisdom in this statement!!!

[Full Quiver]

I suppose I'm a bit slow. Are you saying just leave this alone?

[dawgs10]

this has happened to me a couple of times. bent over backwards to make people feel at home, work with people, watch them make their selves at home then back out for reasons only really known to them. how long has this went on. i ask because we worked with someone that was close to us that seemed alot like your issue. we worked with her for almost two years before we just took our hands off. we do not spend as much time with her. mostly just see her at church when she comes. very difficult.

[Full Quiver]

I've been friends with this couple for 4 years. The church issues have been over the past year.

[beckrl]

If they are truly wanting to study God's word with your group then they will, if not continue without them.

[Pastor Gary]

Danny, one of the great surprises I have experienced since assuming senior leadership has been how fickle friends have been. Several people who were close friends of decades left us for other churches and cut off long-held relationships.

One person we had pretty much "adopted" into our family left saying it was my preaching/teaching style -- felt too much like being back in school. (Real reason, in my opinion? We started growing and gaining new people, and this person preferred the small us-four-and-no-more kind of church they remembered from the past.)

Another family left and are bad-mouthing us all over town. This family had been taken in for months into our Deacon's home when they had a crisis, have borrowed tables, chairs, computer usage and a hundred other things repeatedly from me, other leaders and the church, but never were faithful in contributing time, talent or treasure to the mission of the church. They went where "the Spirit is really moving" at a nearby church, and they say "now our kids are getting what they need spiritually"... but reading their kids' Facebook updates doesn't show any spiritual growth at all.

Through it all, we have discovered the depth of TRUE friendships, with people who have stood by us through thick and thin, loved us, prayed for us, supported us and been beside us all the way.

You can't focus upon the negatives. There will always be critics, whiners and complainers.

[dawgs10]

like i sayed, my wife and i were in the same boat with someone over a two year span after being friends with them longer than that. she was working in childrens ministry and helping with the youth drama team and just kind of slipped away. we have let her know we will always be there for her but would not support her life style. and have consistantly told her to get planted. (church hoppers never grow because they never put down roots). she still attends our church some but is not active. i have had a couple of kick you in the butt talks with her and it really didnt change anything. the best advice i can give ya is to pray for them and try to maintain some kind of relationship to keep the road clear for them to be involved or not.

[Pastor Bill]

Remember God's calling on your is more about what you are doing that how they are responding, you can't make them dedicate themselves, and often any that you try to force them will just push them away.

Just do what you know to do in your study and leading, and keep them in prayer, but recognize that it's their decision if they want to grow, and their choice is known more by what they do than what they say.

[Full Quiver]

I guess I am more asking should I continue to put myself out there as a friend considering that they may not be as truthful, honest, etc. as friends should be?

I believe the Bible teaches us to spoil our friends and I do that.

[dolfan]

Well, if it's a friendship thing, and they're still willing to be your friend, be a friend. Friends know when to shut up, too. I like MacUser's advice on that part.

[MacUser]

I guess I am more asking should I continue to put myself out there as a friend considering that they may not be as truthful, honest, etc. as friends should be?

How was it measured to you? When you see them.. just love them.

We are the Church. We represent Jesus in the flesh. Encourage them, speak healing and love.... and leave off the invites. Show them no strings are attached to be your friend.

[Brian]

I don't want to seem harsh or anything, but so what. I mean people are different. They have different study habits, work habits, family and friend habits. This man may have left work early but what does that have to do with anything about what your talking about? Some people like different types of worship/teaching/learning. I really don't mean any harm with my "so what" comment. It was meant as maybe your making a mountain out of a mole hill.
I understand it can be frustrating, even more since it seems they are the ones who pushed you to change your teaching plans. I don't know, I am just different in this area. I have been accused of being too laid back on more than one occasion.