to all fathers

[dolfan]

When she's 40 and he's 60, she's perusing Victoria's Secret and he's popping vitamin E to keep up; she's still listening to pop music, he's listening to pops orchestras; she brags about still being original, hip, and he brags because he's still got his original hips ..... you see the point.

Having said that, who's to judge that? I wouldn't think the commonality would last very long past the physical attractions. But, again, to each his/her own on that one, IMO, Teach.

[teach]

He's in better shape than I am and is very healthy and doesn't look or seem anywhere near 47. Now, of course, he's still 19 years older, but I know that IF it is something that God designed then it would be ok.

And, we actually have alot in common which is kinda strange, but it's cool.

This is actually something I have prayed about very much and have entered into carefully.

ok, I feel like I have hijacked this thread, so I am really sorry full quiver!! If anyone would like to discuss the age thing with me, let's start a new thread

wendy k

[Full Quiver]

What is it you were going to say Oletimer?

[dawgs10]

thats why i own guns. seriously, thats why i own guns.

[darylscook]

how do you guys feel about a 47-year old (really awesome, never been married, CHRISTIAN)guy with a 28 year old girl?

wendy k

I thought he looked pretty old when I saw the Facebook pics

Pastor Daryl

[darylscook]

He's in better shape than I am and is very healthy and doesn't look or seem anywhere near 47. Now, of course, he's still 19 years older, but I know that IF it is something that God designed then it would be ok.

Ooops, sorry. about the earlier comment. But, He looks in his 40s to me. And, I am so thankful that you put the IF in there and recognize that it may not be.

And, we actually have alot in common which is kinda strange, but it's cool.

This is actually something I have prayed about very much and have entered into carefully.

Seriously, I hope God helps you find the guy for you. But, I would be careful that Your feelings do not cloud your perception of God's Will.

ok, I feel like I have hijacked this thread, so I am really sorry full quiver!! If anyone would like to discuss the age thing with me, let's start a new thread

wendy k

Ah, It's OK; Is any Father going to let their 17 year-old daughter go out with a 27 year old? NOOOOOOO; not if they can help it.

[teach]

I pm'd you daryl. And, you can talk to mom and dad about it too.

[MacUser]

At 27 I was having a mid life crisis and started my own business!!!
At 17... well I was stupid and listening to Beastie Boys

[Full Quiver]

At 17 I had raging hormones, all sorts of dreams and aspirations, glad to be out and about on my own working, driving, etc.

At 27 I was a religious fanatic with my head in the clouds making no real headway in life at all

[teach]

when I was 18 I dated a 25 year old and it was NOT smart at all!! I don't recommend 17 year old dating anyone more than a couple years older than her.

[Pastor Bill]

The age difference is less important as you get older, but at 17 in our culture there is NO WAY. I agree with dawgs10, that's why we need guns! At 17 even a few years age difference puts a person in a whole different world, High School verses College/Career, Home with parents vs. out on their own as a part of the adult world, WAY too many differences.

When you're older, an wider gap in age is more workable. My parents met later in life, both had been divorce and next month will have been happily married 40 years, there is a 12 year age difference between them, and yes with Dad reaching 76 and having some health problems, Mom is doing a lot more as a caregiver now, but she wouldn't have it any other way, health problems can hit early in life as well, and a strong marriage will deal with those things.

It is very much something you need to consider, because not all couples handle it well, and it is an extra strain on a marriage, but it's not impossible or always a bad idea, just let God lead, that's the most important.

[HarmlessDove]

I don't believe you can make a judgement unless you know the people. It is a known fact that girls mature faster than guys.

There is a large age gap between my husband and I. Would he have been interested in me when I was 5 and he was 18? NO. Things change. People change over time.

I am 27, he will be 40 October 7th.

Everyone matures at a different pace. If you feel your 17 year old daughter is mature enough to handle such, I don't see the issue.

When I was 16, I dated someone who was almost 22. I have always been very mature for my age. He was rather immature. We didn't work out but it wasn't because of age. It was because of HIS instability.

I know who FQ is referring to. There is nothing 'almost 30' about the guy the 17 year old is dating. They met in a church environment and have known each other for several years. The 17 year old girl is VERY mature on a spiritual level. They are both very good friends of mine. I personally do not see the issue.

I have 2 daughters. If they find a very nice church guy 10 years their senior and I feel they are able to make mature decisions regarding such, then I will give my blessing.

[dbserv]

Only 6 years between my daughter and son-in-law. She was 16 when they started dating and he was 22.


My wife and daughter convinced me that it was a good idea. She was WAY more mature than most girls her age, but it was still a BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD IDEA!!!


Many of you prayed us through all of the problems and trials that came up. Through God's grace and mercy, it has worked and they have now been married for 8 years and the boys are 11. But, was it worth all of the trials and problems? Well, ......................................................


Even my son-in-law says that his daughter will "NEVER" date an older guy until she's "at least 30".



I don't care how "strong of a Christian" he is, etc. or etc. She is playing with fire and WILL get burned. If it is of God and meant to be, then he will still be there in 8 years when she turns 25.


Personally, I think that 25 is a good break point for being able to consider "older" guys/gals. By that time, you have gone through college, started a career, moved out of mom & dad's place and established your own life. I think that is all necessary before a person should consider being with someone with more than a 5 year age difference.


On the other hand, we have several couple friends with age differences OVER 15 years. They have all been very happy and successful in their marriages. \But, several of them are in their social security years and the younger spouse has had to set aside their desires for travel, etc. to be the full time care giver for the older spouse.


As long as a couple goes in with their eyes wide open and have long discussions AND major prayer times about the many issues that will come up, and they are willing to commit that "divorce is NOT an option", then I say God Bless them!!!

But, as a Marriage Mentor, I would insist on many hours of counseling and discussion with an Christian marriage mentor/therapist/etc. before they proceeded with the wedding.

[Pastor Bill]

Harmless, how old were you when you and your husband started dating?

How long have you been married?

large age differences do bring about some additional issues, they are not impossible, but they do need to be considered.

But the age isn't the only consideration at this point, a 17 year old person still living with parents, going to school is in a different world than someone who is 10 years older, out on their own in the adult world, and the 17 year old needs to get through that transition herself rather than being rushed through it by a relationship with someone from another world. WAY too much changes even for a very mature person, there is a transition there that will change who you are in many ways. I work on a college campus and see it every day, most who come into college with a relationship with someone younger back home, end it quickly as their life is completely different, or they hold onto it, and it ends badly a few years later.

You said "There is nothing 'almost 30' about the guy" does that mean Danny got the age wrong, or are you saying that the guy is mentally retarded or greatly sheltered so that he hasn't made that kind of a transition (both of which should be big red flags on their own)? Even if he is just immature (many men are well up into their 40s even) the social transition has still taken place, and that is the issue here more than age.

[darylscook]

Everyone matures at a different pace. If you feel your 17 year old daughter is mature enough to handle such, I don't see the issue.

I'm sorry; no 17 year old girl is mature enough to date a 27 year old guy. No way! I'm sorry. Now a 27 year old girl may be mature enough to date a 37 year old guy but not a 17 year old.

When I was 16, I dated someone who was almost 22. I have always been very mature for my age. He was rather immature. We didn't work out but it wasn't because of age. It was because of HIS instability.

Even 16 and 22 is a big difference than 17 and 27 BIG difference

I know who FQ is referring to. There is nothing 'almost 30' about the guy the 17 year old is dating. They met in a church environment and have known each other for several years. The 17 year old girl is VERY mature on a spiritual level. They are both very good friends of mine. I personally do not see the issue.

I have 2 daughters. If they find a very nice church guy 10 years their senior and I feel they are able to make mature decisions regarding such, then I will give my blessing.

There is nothing 'almost 30' about ANY man almost thirty if they want to date a 17 year old girl!!!!

I'll try to be more forthright if I post again

Pastor Daryl