to all fathers

[MacUser]

There is nothing 'almost 30' about ANY man almost thirty if they want to date a 17 year old girl!!!!

Good Word on principle.

[Brian]

Ask the 17-year-old how interested she would be in dating a 7-year-old.

Once she laughs at how ridiculous that would be, make the obvious comparison.

Come on PG you know that isn't a fair comparison. I don't disagree that I too would have a problem with it but lets compare apples to apples. I mean using that logic a 20 year old and a 30 year old is the same as a 20 and a 10 yr old. It just doesn't wash. And I am a father of a 16 yr old girl.
She "liked" an 18 yr old boy (they no longer are talking cause he moved to MN) just a few months ago but we NEVER gave them alone time. The boy was my wife's best friends stepson. They only hung out and kinda held hands in our home or theres. There was NEVER a time when they were alone, NEVER! I was ok with that. He was a good boy.

I have to admit something, and I am probably going to take some fire for it, oh well but I am 36 and if I were ever divorced and went on the playing field again I wouldn't exclude someone who is maybe 20 or more. Thats 17 years! Is that being a perv? I personally don't think so.

putting on my super shield and awaiting fire LOL

(I added bold for emphasis)

[mavislb]

Okay, my problem was just the opposite. I'm the single mom of a boy who started dating a younger girl. They had dated for a couple of months (she was 16, he was 23) before her parents found out how old he was. He doesn't look as old as he is and was still living at home, etc. They have been dating for just over 2 years now and her parents love him. I'm still not comfortable with the age difference and we will see how long it lasts as time goes on. She's now in college and so far they have kept clear heads on any future plans. Thoughts?

[Brian]

At 17... well I was stupid and listening to Beastie Boys

Whaaaaaaaa? Beastie Boys rock!! and i'm 37

[DeWayneTN]

I have to admit something, and I am probably going to take some fire for it, oh well but I am 36 and if I were ever divorced and went on the playing field again I wouldn't exclude someone who is maybe 20 or more.

Not that the thought has ever entered your mind!

[Brian]

I have to admit something, and I am probably going to take some fire for it, oh well but I am 36 and if I were ever divorced and went on the playing field again I wouldn't exclude someone who is maybe 20 or more.

Not that the thought has ever entered your mind!

No no of course not DeWayne, of course not! And I'm sure she has never thought of that nice young chiseled rich doctor type either.

[MacUser]

At 17... well I was stupid and listening to Beastie Boys

Whaaaaaaaa? Beastie Boys rock!! and i'm 37

39 and they are horrific. Fun tune.. but the message is death.

I had some nostalgic memories of my youth and decided to listen to a few old songs a few weeks back from "License to Ill".

Promptly was ashamed to show to my young son and quickly changed it.

[HarmlessDove]

Harmless, how old were you when you and your husband started dating?

How long have you been married?

I was 20, he was going on 33.
We've been married 5 years next month.


I wasn't looking for a debate. I rarely comment. Just defending some friends. My opinion still stands.

[HarmlessDove]

...And no, I did not mean he was mentally retarded. He and I are the same age. He's 26, I'm 27.

He's a big kid.

[Marcy]

Okay, I'm gonna give you my opinion on this one.
I would NOT be at all happy if my 17 year old daughter was interested in dating a 27 year old. First she needs to be 18 before they should even "see" each other.
I will confess, I was 18 when I met and started dating my husband who was 26 at the time. My parents were not happy about my decision and at the time, I didn't understand why. Now that I have a daughter who is 19, I totally understand their feelings. I married my husband one month before turning 19, we have been married for 22 years now but we have had some issues and I will tell you all, the age gap has been a source of contention in our marriage at times. Now that I am older and have slowed down some, it is not a problem like it used to be.
I have asked my daughter (19 yr old) to please not date anyone until she is finished with college and to my delight, she is honoring my request. I am fully aware that she may change her mind at any time and I have no say in the matter, but I have expressed to her, life is much less complicated without the distraction of a relationship while she is getting her college degree.
The young lady should wait, if they are meant to be together, things will work out in the future. If he doesn't want to wait, they shouldn't be together anyways. The young man should honor this young ladies folks enough to let her grow up a little.

[dolfan]

I think the maturity of a 25 year old is probably enough, in the right situation, to allow him/her to decide to marry someone 15 or more years older than he/she is. I also think, though, that a 25 year old generally lacks wisdom enough to project down the road of life, to count the cost of the matters that will arise that wouldn't if their ages were within, say, 5 years. It isn't a moral issue at all, just one that requires caution and deliberation, some good advice from older people and most of all, prayer. Yet, we see right here instances where marriages have held up over time with an age disparity. Are they an exception to the rule? Well, yeah, I'd say any marriage that lasts for 20 years these days in America is an exception. Passion enters into it, though. I like what CS Lewis said about passion --- it is like digestion. It passes. You partake of it briefly, it either satisfies or upsets, does its little work, and you soon are over it. As long as a person knows that going in, and is prepared to accept it, (and it is true of any marriage), they are one step further along not only being marry-able, but being wiser and more content in the long run.

[EagerBeaver]

What about this principle in reverse?

I have a strict four-down, twenty-up rule when it comes to age and dating.

[Pastor Bill]

What about this principle in reverse?

I have a strict four-down, twenty-up rule when it comes to age and dating.

But you are also over 17 too!

the 20 up part isn't a bad thing, but it is important to remember there are extra stresses on the relationship with that much of a difference, but it's not impossible, the biggest concern I would have over the 17 to 26 year old was the difference socially being from really two different worlds. I guess it could work if the 17 year old was out on their own for a few years having skipped a few grades and was well out of the High School/dependent on parent stage, but that is rare at that age, and it takes a couple years at least for that transition to really set in.

[Full Quiver]

It is a known fact that girls mature faster than guys.

That is a generalization and cannot hold true for all people. Also maturity does not mean everything. Experience makes a huge difference and at 17 a girl is no where as experienced in relationships period as a 27 year old. Just because she may be spiritually mature, which is subject to all sorts of debates, highs and lows, etc. doesn't mean he is. The fact of the matter is that guys like to reproduce or at least practice, .

The main point here is honor and respect. Where is a 27 year old showing honor in wooing a 17 year old, underage girl? How is he respecting her, her family, her local church, and/or the law of the land.

Don't play the Christian card and claim spiritual maturity all the while ignoring the law of this land. The Scripture plainly says to be subject to man's laws AS LONG AS THEY DON"Y VIOLATE GOD"S.