I'm a PK and a Pastor now. I fought some hard feelings about being in 2nd place in my dad's life at times. I think that's normal. But, I could never allow those feelings to seperate me from what I know God was and is calling me to do. I now put my family first. My daughters love the ministry and church. My oldest did regret that we moved from one church to another because she had developed a close relationship with a friend. But, she rebounded and now wouldn't go back for anything. I have felt a need to stay put for a long while where I'm at. Dad's average length of stay at a church was 2 to 3 years. Mine has been 3 to 4 years, but I've only pastored four churches. I think there is something to be said for longevity.
Anyway, I'm thankful for my childhood and for God's call. No Regrets!
Bro. Richard
PKs...Good or Bad?
Moderators: Pastor Gary, The J2 Mod Squad
Pks
Bro. Richard,
I hope you were being factious when you used the term longevity and then qualified it with 4-5 years.
A pastor needs to plant his roots and give his entire life to one location. Maybe not an associate, but the sr. pastor.
Much of the hurt and disappointment of pks is due to the lack of security in the job where we knew we were being "moved " every so often. It is stupid to think that God gets any glory let alone make him the culprit in all this moving stuff. It takes 5 years just to get to know the community. I have been here for 8 years and we are just now getting into the effective part of our ministry. AS for the kids, I am a pk of a pk of a pk. My kids want no part of that! They too got sick of moving half way accross the US. It ain't fun being called "dumb southerner".
If you want to turn out good pks, set your roots deep and develop good solid relationships where you are and be buried in that town. That will save a lot of that hurt later on.
I hope you were being factious when you used the term longevity and then qualified it with 4-5 years.
A pastor needs to plant his roots and give his entire life to one location. Maybe not an associate, but the sr. pastor.
Much of the hurt and disappointment of pks is due to the lack of security in the job where we knew we were being "moved " every so often. It is stupid to think that God gets any glory let alone make him the culprit in all this moving stuff. It takes 5 years just to get to know the community. I have been here for 8 years and we are just now getting into the effective part of our ministry. AS for the kids, I am a pk of a pk of a pk. My kids want no part of that! They too got sick of moving half way accross the US. It ain't fun being called "dumb southerner".
If you want to turn out good pks, set your roots deep and develop good solid relationships where you are and be buried in that town. That will save a lot of that hurt later on.
Dr. Ron
Dr. Ron,
I wasn't trying to imply that 4 to 5 years was longevity. I was just stating that it has taken me this long to realize that it isn't and that I need to adjust my thinking toward the length of time to stay at any church. You're absolutely correct in that those pastors who stay longer tend to be more effective in their communities. In fact, I believe in a study of churches that have large attendances that the pastor has been their 15+ years. I did the church moving thing in my early 20's, but now I'm ready to stabalize.
Bro. Richard
I wasn't trying to imply that 4 to 5 years was longevity. I was just stating that it has taken me this long to realize that it isn't and that I need to adjust my thinking toward the length of time to stay at any church. You're absolutely correct in that those pastors who stay longer tend to be more effective in their communities. In fact, I believe in a study of churches that have large attendances that the pastor has been their 15+ years. I did the church moving thing in my early 20's, but now I'm ready to stabalize.
Bro. Richard
Don't tell God how big your storm is...Tell your storm how big your God is!
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Jennifer Smith
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I don't like the idea of stereotypes, although I don't mind discussing what helps "PK"s because I know it probably isn't easy at times to be one!
We've always tried to help our kids be the best people and best Christians they could be, not the best "PK"s. We don't emphasize the fact that they are "PKs" -they are just kids who happen to have a pastor for a dad. Their Dad's calling doesn't force them to have a role other than that which they feel the Lord wants for them and what they choose to do or not do. I pray for them and we both try to be there for them every bit as much as we would if we were not pastors.
We've always tried to help our kids be the best people and best Christians they could be, not the best "PK"s. We don't emphasize the fact that they are "PKs" -they are just kids who happen to have a pastor for a dad. Their Dad's calling doesn't force them to have a role other than that which they feel the Lord wants for them and what they choose to do or not do. I pray for them and we both try to be there for them every bit as much as we would if we were not pastors.
..I press on to take hold of that
for which Christ took hold of me.
-Phil 3:12
for which Christ took hold of me.
-Phil 3:12
... And I don't think that I am that bad.
Kids are kids...Each one is different. I to am a preacher of a preacher of a preacher. I'm the youngest of 6 (the only "preacher") but all of my siblings are involved in church except one.
My wife is also a preacher of a preacher (state overseer).
When we decided to have children we agreed not to raise them as preachers kids but just kids. I think we've done a pretty good job...My 17 year old has never given us an ounce of trouble...He's involved in the church activities he chooses...And he loves God with all of his heart. Same for my 12 year old daughter.
I hope that some of us have learned not to place un-real expectations on our children. I like what Brother Fisher says about going to his children and apologizing for some of the ways he brought them up. Maybe more pastors need to do that...Hopefully I've learned a few lessons over the years myself.
My wife is also a preacher of a preacher (state overseer).
When we decided to have children we agreed not to raise them as preachers kids but just kids. I think we've done a pretty good job...My 17 year old has never given us an ounce of trouble...He's involved in the church activities he chooses...And he loves God with all of his heart. Same for my 12 year old daughter.
I hope that some of us have learned not to place un-real expectations on our children. I like what Brother Fisher says about going to his children and apologizing for some of the ways he brought them up. Maybe more pastors need to do that...Hopefully I've learned a few lessons over the years myself.
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Mike Vande
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Not ever having been a PK, I was only repeating what a PK told me. He was brought up by a gloriously saved conservative Presbyterian pastor & his wife, who had 7 or 8 kids. He was around to see a lot of other PKs in his time, but I am sure he would be the first to say that there are always exceptions to any rule. He was devilsfood as a teenager, but became angelsfood after God got ahold of him. Steve Graff is his name, and he is now the associate pastor of the church we both used to attend in Sedalia, Mo. He is one of the most godly and loving individuals I have ever encountered. I am proud and happy to call him one of my two best friends, which he has been for more than 30 years, and I miss him terribly now that we live so far apart.
Why is it that bad decisions seem to make to most interesting testimonies?
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Pastor Bill
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I had some great advice given to me NOT to treat my kids as PKs, frankly I know there are pressures on them that aren't on others, but I don't know that they really see it yet (they are still young), we also have a very loving church that isn't as judgemental either, so that will help.
Frankly kids are kids, and they will do good and bad. PKs have extra pressure, and that needs to be taken into consideration, and I know stereotypically they tend to go to one extreme or another at least while they are young, most I think tend to return to a relationship with God eventially.
I think pointing out they are PKs and emphasising it only makes things worse, so we really just try to let them be kids.
Frankly kids are kids, and they will do good and bad. PKs have extra pressure, and that needs to be taken into consideration, and I know stereotypically they tend to go to one extreme or another at least while they are young, most I think tend to return to a relationship with God eventially.
I think pointing out they are PKs and emphasising it only makes things worse, so we really just try to let them be kids.
free wrote:Kids are kids...Each one is different. I to am a preacher of a preacher of a preacher. I'm the youngest of 6 (the only "preacher") but all of my siblings are involved in church except one.
My wife is also a preacher of a preacher (state overseer).
When we decided to have children we agreed not to raise them as preachers kids but just kids. I think we've done a pretty good job...My 17 year old has never given us an ounce of trouble...He's involved in the church activities he chooses...And he loves God with all of his heart. Same for my 12 year old daughter.
I hope that some of us have learned not to place un-real expectations on our children. I like what Brother Fisher says about going to his children and apologizing for some of the ways he brought them up. Maybe more pastors need to do that...Hopefully I've learned a few lessons over the years myself.
i can ralte with your wife
not only do i have to think about how my actions effect the local level
but there are also times when i have to thinks about them on a state level
I think that just being a pk puts pressure on you that u either deal with it (through giving it to God of course) or it overwhelms you
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